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Soft

Syringe Pictures, Images and Photos

 

all seems fair in ignorance and bliss

hear a tune and reminisce

thinking in music...a song for every occasion
it ain't blue, but it's crystal persuasion

killing Pablo in a bent up spoon
humming a melody and I shoot for the moon

then Momma picks me up... from out the cradle
my head starts spinning...like a little dreidel


repetitious cycle, I loathe here beside it
like a bottle full of rum... and I a pirate

salute to the precedent...bottoms up
but no future is to come... if I refill my cup

Author notes

photo credit ianejanssen @ photobucket

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • kenpi3
    October 19

    Edit | Reply

    Great Combo

    This really sticks in my craw, or arm, or leg.
    I love the mid-rhyme, the 10th & 12th.
    Seriously though, get Mama into Al-Anon, she is a clasic enabler.


    • bigperm gold member
      October 19
      Edit | Reply

      Momma refers to coke, and yeah I guess she does enable me. lol

      what a peculiar poem to happen upon. It was a little thought that turned into this poem some time back. Thanks for reading it though.

      The one for the contest we're in is http://allpoetry.com/poem/5795357.

      Perhaps a better first impression of me. haha


  • Mango Memories gold member
    October 15
    Edit | Reply
    /


  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    yes...I agree with the comments below
    you have that distinctive style...that is yours alone

    and yeah
    killing Pablo in a bent up spoon is a killer line


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    you want to talk about a trigger for some people. i have something like 113 or more days clean and that picture took my breath away. wow! i can honestly say it numbed my mind. killing Pablo in a bent up spoon humming a melody and I shoot for the moon i may not be pablo but the affect is the same. thank you for sharing this with me. viyanna rosemarie


  • Dalaney gold member
    April 21

    Edit | Reply

    i've read quite a few of your poems so now i guess it's time i start commenting   i like you.  your poetry stands on its own and it's definitely not white bread.  i'll be by more often...

     

    love, lane


  • Gypsy Via Orleans
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    This is good, kinda of scary but, still good.
    I love the last two lines. They seem to sum up it all up.
    The picture also helps get the message across though it really wasn't needed because you write so well. I always enjoy reading your work.

  • Gypsy Via Orleans
    April 20
    Edit | Reply
    This is good, kinda of scary but, still good.
    I love the last two lines. They seem to sum up it all up.
    The picture also helps get the message across though it really wasn't needed because you write so well. I always enjoy reading your work.


  • white stone silver member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply

    That Gif Made Me Jones!

    I like this, feeling a little Jewish, a little Blueish...
    You definitely have a distinctive style,lol.
    There's nothing wrong with that at all.
    Ahhh... brand new blood...


  • BlancetNoir gold member
    April 20
    Edit | Reply
    light musical voice speaking on a chilling subject. I like that contrast.


  • Yemassee gold member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    It's one of those pieces that you like to just read, not worry about the meaning (until the author kindly gives us clues) But because it's basically a song, you (or I did) and enjoy the words, and the tune it creates in your head.

    I think there's an irony here in the the tune I get from it seems joyful, bouncy and yet the drug undertone and it's sense of desperation (If I am right) are quite the opposite of that.


  • Sudo Nimh silver member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    this is an awesome piece here bro..im not much for constructive criticism, but i can offer some spelling aid.."seems"..though seams adds an interesting possibility of double meaning.."dreidel".."loathe"..cool poetic imagery..though the pic prompt disturbs me.

    "salute to the precedent...bottoms up
    but no future is to come... if I refill my cup"

    well said...and i loves the danelion fluffies!..soft.

1 - 12 of 12