I was born with a love, that can not be given away
And it makes me cry, like pain so deep inside
I was born with a skill, skill to want to help
But a happy smile and not a cause to die
My skill is useless, my love pointless
To slice, to vomit, to rage, to sink
I can not do any of these for you
And that by itself should make me happy
But its left a void I can not fill
To be raped, to be hit, to be tortured, to be pushed down
I could then fill my void with love
For another with lesser strength than I
I want to use this body as practise
Like meat for all to see its worth
But to use gods great gift like this alone
It makes me evil, makes me twisted inside
I do not wish for these things first hand
But my longing for knowledge is overwhelming
So I offer this meat to hug and to kiss you
Because I can offer nothing more...
Please forgive me jealous people
That my life is not how yours has been
Let me fill your void and mine
By hugs and kisses and advise at times
Because I can offer nothing more...
Author notes
to all self harmers and people that have had there rights taken away from them, i write this poem in the nicest possible way. i'm saying i would love to help you all, but i know without first hand knowledge i will never understand, and to encourage first hand experience would be a waist of me. so i wish you all well with nothing else to give you but love x
In a list
A contest entry
- Emotions/Situations by Trapped Destruction.
1750 points, ended May 2, 12 entries
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800 points, ended May 14, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Depth, Emotion, Imagery. by Fire-Fly.
600 points, ended May 25, 75 entries
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400 points, ended September 8, 5 entries
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Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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It's a clever way to put your feelings across. A very good poem with effective imagery and lovely rhythm.
Thanks for entering and good luck in my contest. -
Imagery/20
Style/30
background/30
Prompt used/
Prewrite/10
fresh write/0
It was a brillitan write I loved it. You have great talent.
My fave part would have to be: To slice, to vomit, to rage, to sink
I can not do any of these for you
And that by itself should make me happy
But its left a void I can not fill
Thanks for entering and good luck.
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To slice, to vomit, to rage, to sink
I can not do any of these for you
that what my favorite part
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Wow. I like this. Particulary because of the message it sends to specific ones such as myself as well as the feelings portrayed. It's good. And I appreciate it.
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thank you ever so much for the nice comment. ive been holding back for a while with putting this in a contest, because i wasnt sure how people would take it, but i wrote it with the best possible intentions like i said. glad you liked, thanks x
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Great write with an excellent message. A lot of the pain that plagues people...its a shame that a lot of individuals don't understand that all it takes is love and support and that infectious things can erode away...but people would rather yell, get frustrated and act like complete morons. This is why the world is the way it is.
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fuck!
Man! this is exactly how i feel this is such a good write. its insane how this captures the whole feeling.im stunned and silenced just wow!
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THANK YOU!!!!!! someone who doesnt think im sick thinking of this kind a thing. we've got a lot to chat about you and i! we must meet up at some point and have a good natter! x
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wow, great write. i like the message, kinda sickish sounding, but at the same time sincere. great job.
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If you had typos, you must have fixed them, although second last line would read better as
''By hugs and kisses and advise at times''. Anyway this poem is well written, though at first I thought you had some sick ideas of love, but after reading your author notes, I understood where you were coming from. I actually did enjoy reading this poem, it was well written. And by the way, I fixed the typo you pointed out, thanks for letting me know for I had not noticed it. Take care and thanks for sharing.
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thanks for the suggested edit, just fixed it. also thanks for the honest comment about my poem. i won't enter this in any contests i think as i will get bashed i think, even though i only mean well. i could have wrote this poem in a very subtle way, but whats the point??? the point of my poems is i say what i think but normally i always mean well! glad you liked my poem, cheers x
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This message to help is a bit twisted, but the thought behind it all is so well placed. Your portrayal of yourself is so... conflicted, it seems. You want to help, but your methods feel so... sickening, despite being so full of heart.
My only real complaint right now is that your spelling needs a little work. You'll get there, though. ^^
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my spelling could always use work hahaha i completely admit im shit at it, but hey hoo hahaha thank you for your honest opinion of my poem. like i said in my authors notes, i mean it in the nicest possible way. i would love to help self harmers and others, but if i haven't experienced it, how the hell can i REALLY help, because i dont know how they feel? thanks for the comment anyway x
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Well, a)thank you and i like this poem.. But the authors notes kind of hit me more than anything. The poem itself was actuallly kind of confusing.. .But I liked it. Good job.
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have a read though some of the reply's on here, you might understand a little better how i feel and my message if you fancy getting a better insight. thanks for the comment x
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Wow that made me sad! And although you wil never understand from first hand experience, I know that you wil always be here for me and that makes me feel good! I was on a low last nite + wrote quite a few poems x x x this my girl was a great write!
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yeah, i was on a low today. read some poems that made me want to give advise, then realised i couldnt give any! glad you like the poem, but i didnt fancy everyone reading it, bound to get some really pissed off people bashing me!
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Yeah but if any1 bashes they simply are not true poets.
I do agree that spell check could be your friend ;-) x x
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