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Weightloss like Kate Moss

The models all talk about weight loss,
but leave out the way it makes you feel, freezing cold, crippled with heartburn.
and I still don't look like Kate moss.

I can't trust myself around food,
for once the sweet taste touches my lips, all control will be lost.
I feel sick as I admire my body in the nude.

My bones hidden behind a disgusting blanket of fat,
I take a trip to my porcelain hevean, guilty from the salad dressing.
Crying on the bathroom floor where i'm still sat.

Theres one thing I cant get my head around,
for all the weight ive lost I just seem to be getting fatter.
If anorexia was a competition i'd be crowned.

One day this will all just be the past,
Ill recover and find happiness in more than just exercise,
But until that day, I think ill just fast.

What are your honest opinions?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Amethyst77
    June 20

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    Excellent!

    This line is so true: "for all the weight ive lost I just seem to be getting fatter." I love your poem.


  • TabbyCat
    April 20

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    Wow...a really raw look into the mind of one who suffers from anorexia. Thank you for sharing this meaningful piece.


  • CrystalLizard
    April 20

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    I like the rhyme scheme with the exception of the third stanza—the grammar of the last line there needs to be fixed and the rhyme altered to match. I'd like to see even more emotion in the poem, especially since there are so many people who can relate to the subject. I like the content of the first three stanzas much better than the last two. (The final line, especially, seems a little trite to me.) I do like the topic that you've tackled, and the way you've described the fasting process. Thank you for sharing this.


    • Gracie
      April 20
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      Thank you for your comment and constructive critisism. I'll work on all the points you bought up.


  • moaner
    April 20

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    line 2 (freezing not feezing)
    and line before the last (exercise not exorcise)
    apart from the typo's i really liked it, flowed nicely. i like the positive bit at the end, but then i saw the fasting bit and was upset. keep up the fight, you sound by this poem your doing really well to defeat the demons, keep going xxx


  • XOxYuKkIxOx
    April 20

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    Well i think it has some very good points that eveyrone can relate to. I loved that it was on a point that i can come to understand. I am a 16 year old girl who just got over aneroxia. So i know just how you feel. I loved It.

1 - 7 of 7