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from my first to my last body

 

 


Love, the stars are out.

The black sea, the blue
sleeping trees surround me.
Soon dawn will come.
Meanwhile I write your name,
your simple name,
that has found its residence in me.

Oh, who showed you where I live?
Thorn of passions, sword of sorrows
that slashed a via dolorosa
through my heart;
what cross did you not nail me to?

Smile of water that kissed my lips
till they gleamed;  sunbeam,
thick smell of honey,

that opened in me

gardens of new flowers

and every jasmine of tenderness.

Love, look at me.

Even when I say
that I have forgotten you,
do not believe me.
Not only am I never without you,
you alone are my blood,
from my first to my last body
my most luminous blush.

Nobody can steal your name from my lips, nobody
can lower the red banners you let fly
from my mouth.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

a conversation with love, inspired by Neruda, of course…

"if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten"

from: If you forget me by Pablo Neruda
http://allpoetry.com/opoem/8386-Pablo-Neruda-If-You-Forget-Me

thank you for the nudge,  Wanda and Allyce
and Guy (grm), for the one we started but never finished

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 99 of 103     1 2  next >  (show all)

  • I-Like-Rhymes gold member
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    An excellent attempt to encapsulate love where just the lovers name alone is magical. You have also penned some amazing phrases of which
    Smile of water (that kissed my lips) is probbaly my favourite so far.
    Well done and good luck.


  • rbruce gold member
    July 6
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautifully romantic poem and a joy to read. Thank you for posting.


  • John Doe
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    "every jasmine of tenderness" is an amazing phrase and "Love, look at me." is such a strong line. tender, moving, beautiful poem.


  • Peteskid gold member
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    I think this is Neruda, inhaled and exhaled; when the eyes are fixed on the sea and memories, when feelings roll like waves... Enjoyed...PK


  • Legend silver member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    As it may fall to me to make a final judgment when the votes are in I will not comment on any piece so as not to give anyone the idea of what i might decide
    This is to let all entrants know that i have visited and read


  • Draig aine gold member
    June 28
    Edit | Reply
    again I find myself at aloss for words, all I can offer is a sigh


  • Pamela A Lamppa silver member
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    Your work is always meticulous, finding ethereal light wherever it lands. Superb poetry in this beautiful gem.

    As always, a pleasure to read and enjoy. *sigh* ~Pamela


  • BearWoman gold member
    June 16
    Edit | Reply

    A romantic gem.

    Wonderful, and completely worthy of the Gold.


  • SabaSophiya
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    Discovering your poetry is like passing through a galaxy of stars. Your poems really shine with natural brilliance!!

    This poem sounds precious
    Shines like a diamond

    Way to go....

    Best,
    Sophie


  • Mari Goes gold member
    June 10
    Edit | Reply
    This is simply gorgeous!


  • Night Hope gold member
    June 8

    Edit | Reply

    You know I love these Neruda-inspired pieces of yours best of all...I just can't help it. Good luck in the contest, Sweetie.







  • grm
    May 31

    Edit | Reply
    i have lived here, before time, and long after it ended...




  • perfectsunset gold member
    May 29

    Edit | Reply
    You craft your poems
    with so much intensity-
    from emotion, meaning,
    depth, passion, beauty,
    metaphors, alliteration,
    you name it-- you scribe it.

    I really enjoyed this piece a lot.
    I felt comfortable, in my own
    little world while reading,
    blocking all the bad things out.

    Thank you


  • Lyrical Soul silver member
    May 26

    Edit | Reply
    *sigh*......beautifully written my friend. Hope you are doing well!

    ~Lyrical

    • Nicolette gold member
      May 26
      Edit | Reply
      hey you! wonderful to see you again, my vriendin I'm doing well; just so busy and not writing much. hope you are well too


  • Matt E. Smith
    May 18
    Edit | Reply
    apparently i forgot clappies lol

  • Matt E. Smith
    May 18

    Edit | Reply
    wow you are so very talented. someone suggested that i should read and study neruda, this poem makes me want to read him...


  • CarolDesjarlais silver member
    May 17
    Edit | Reply
    Oh, this is a breath-holder...I so relate...red banners and all! Bravo!


  • Cannonsfire
    May 11

    Edit | Reply
    Tis beautiful, but it left me feeling more with Elizabeth Barrett Browning lol or perhaps she is on my mind lately having read a book of her poems and sonnets. Either way I enjoyed it and sighed as I usually do with yours C


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      lolol - i can't even recall one of Browning's poems right now - hehehe. thanks, Chez


  • Heart Sutra
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    This is so gorgeous, so romantic in the deepest way...your work leaves a trail of smoke and sigh in its wake.


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 9
      Edit | Reply
      "a trail of smoke and sigh"...that's what lovers do, dear Zayra...i know you know!


  • klassy lassy
    May 4

    Edit | Reply
    Gold is not enough for the grand design of heart upon this page. Heaven opens from within.

    To blossom in the name of love is to be called into existence. I wait and watch behind the walls of secret gardens and await cherry blossom days, whereupon my name spindles, pink petals upon the fountain, it's voice a wish yet to be made....in some future spring.

    ~Karen


  • natari gold member
    May 3

    Edit | Reply
    Not sure if I have commented on this. If I have well I can only add what beauty you pen. The colors and water. The tiny detail that comes across the page. I was reading your book the other night when I couldn't sleep. You are a gifted writer who can give the reader a treat for the soul.

    Helen


  • poet2angels gold member
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    Congrats on the gold! So well deserved , Miss Nicolette
    This is gorgeous as always

    Lynda


  • sweet arrival gold member
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    absolutely breathtaking! oh my. your words shine brighter than the gold in the trophy. beautiful! congratulations on the gold.


  • Heroesrox
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    This literally left me speechless and not many poems have done that to me. This is so wonderful and well deserving of the gold. A great write indeed. Thanks for sharing. Best wishes to you.

    I really loved your wording in this one, such as the whole dolorosa bit.


  • dutch2lips gold member
    May 1
    Edit | Reply
    a true winner, such a gentle, loving piece
    very impressive!


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    I sigh for I have no words to express exactly how this poem made me feel. Best to you in the contest


    • Nicolette gold member
      May 1
      Edit | Reply
      thank you, dear... your quote really made me write the poem i've always wanted to write...


  • sheltered
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    this was superb
    the ending was a bit of a let down though
    built up so skillfully then no thing special
    maybe it's just me
    i'm tough to crack on the long stuff anyway


  • ElectricMuffin
    April 29
    Edit | Reply

    Nice..

    That was really nice :]


  • BlindingLove
    April 29
    Edit | Reply

    PURE POETRY

    that was a truley amazing poem!
    so touching


  • Allyce May gold member
    April 28

    Edit | Reply
    Love the jasmine part now


  • ariazephyrzoe gold member
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    Nicolette, I love it...
    but you know how I always get speechless
    with your writes, just like this one

    your simple name,
    that has found its residence in me.

    and this line is so stunning
    and sigh...it's true
    glad that I read this from you

    yeah, sigh I haven't been writing
    but I won't definitely stop reading
    you had me, eversince I was new here
    I am your fan

  • Matt E. Smith
    April 26
    Edit | Reply
    this is really good writing, it has a very natural flow and is filled with great lines. i definetely enjoyed this


  • wongctf
    April 26

    Edit | Reply
    My favorite line was:

    "what cross did you not nail me to?"

    And truly, this poem has nailed me onto a cross :-)


  • Sonja
    April 25

    Edit | Reply
    Oh... can't comment this one. It is too good for any kind of comment.
    ~Sonja~


  • glenn shannon silver member
    April 25
    Edit | Reply
    thats some might fine thoughts there dedicated love it


  • PurpleSky
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    what a beautiful conversation you had I love you and your work. This piece has not disapointed me for I have always come to your writttings to find some kind of spiritual rest and refreshing. Thank you for being who you are
    Lena


  • Thoughts-of-Soloman
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    Even love in the form of 'for another' in appearance, is made 'for none-other', when what is truly loved becomes held and recognised within our very identity.
    This is what I read here; an address, a converse between a lover and beloved which in reality are one, ever unfolding the subtleties of its own mystery.

    Love is both 'unifier' and creator of diversity within its own expression.
    For me this is beyond any particular 'take' necessary on 'rebirth' or 'afterlife', because these point to meanings which happen constantly and are ever present as each instant is 'created' and 'annihilated' in all creative succession anyway.

    Truly wonderful to read!


  • poet2angels gold member
    April 23
    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful as always...
    Soft, yet powerful voice of love and sheer devotion

    Lynda


  • marc creamore
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    Enough, enough about Neruda . . . this is pure van der Walt, pristine, polished by a delicate stone of ivory, but oh Nicolette, my heart is aching with and for you tonight . . . the love and pain you are at present dwelling in I pray will some day pass, because you deserve to be held in the arms of a masculine cherub who drinks your poetry like a perfectly brewed cup of tea at dawn . . .

    love ya, Marc


  • Heath Thompson
    April 23

    Edit | Reply
    Dear me Nicolette - I need to rip up my work and start again after reading this! This is the best poem of yours I have read. There is sooooo much to it I like I don't know where to begin - so I won't, call it payback! But between the two of us, I love the penultimate stanza. I'm book marking this if I can work out how to do it - magnificent - get it published!


  • Dalaney gold member
    April 22

    Edit | Reply

    you are a poetic treasure.  i read your lines and it's inevitable...a smile forms and i am breathing in beauty.  the last stanza is absolutely a perfect ending.

     

    Love, lane


  • Ken-Maverick
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    Glad I stopped by to check out Sam's contest!
    Not that I'll be entering now, this is Great!!!
    A winner in my book.

    Ken

  • Mari Goes gold member
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    Loved this one, all of it, starting with the title.
    I always enjoy reading the result of the encounter between you and your pen


  • Draig aine gold member
    April 21
    Edit | Reply

    beatiful poem

    flows well the sentiment is timeless a very lovely collaboration I enjoyed it very much


  • JinSays gold member
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    "Even when I say
    that I have forgotten you,
    do not believe me."

    This is where I heard my heart break.

    Nobody can steal your name from my lips, nobody
    can lower the red banners you let fly
    from my mouth.

    This is where the tears came in, and stole the show.


    I find this poem so personally suited, it feels like I can pull it off the monitor and try it on for size. . .always knowing in the back of my mind that it'll fit perfectly.

    You made me feel something in this Nicolette, and here I thought I was a little dead inside. At least today.
    Thank you.
    Love,
    jin


  • Nick16
    April 21
    Edit | Reply
    cool poem
    keep doin yo thing girl ;D
    haha
    love 2 sea more

  • CrazyAngel26
    April 21

    Edit | Reply

    I like

    this is a really sweet poem and it is really simple to know that there is someone out there for that right person

  • CrazyAngel26
    April 21
    Edit | Reply
    This is a really good romantic poem and i really do like it

  • poetrynovice
    April 21

    Edit | Reply

    Incredible!

    Simply one of thebest poems I have ever read on this site. I absolutely loved it! And that is coming from a guy who is not much into romance poetry. Very well done! I will be reading much more of your work in the future.


  • dreams of a gypsy
    April 21
    Edit | Reply
    this was a very good poem i loved it


  • Myth
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful love poem. This poem captures the essence of that emotion. Great work and good luck in the contest!


  • Cup-a-Joe
    April 21
    Edit | Reply
    This, made me cry.

    Joe


  • Magik Milk Glass
    April 21

    Edit | Reply

    Amazing

    veryy well done i love it
    i love the lines "The black sea, the blue
    sleeping trees surround me.
    Soon dawn will come.
    Meanwhile I write your name,
    your simple name,
    that has found its residence in me"


  • thepoetssoul
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    Very beautiful..
    May your lips flow with red banners for all of time, from this body to the next
    Love is a precious gift, and if i knew not of love; I would come here to find it
    Thanks for sharing your heart and spirit.
    Be blessed in all you do.

    Tony

  • Dobar Dan
    April 21
    Edit | Reply
    Nice piece of poetry - keep on keeping on - Dobar Dan -------------------------- peace

  • adzoa
    April 21
    Edit | Reply

    real

    I can feel the intensity of love flame in this poem. it si a job and i love it.


  • tomisb
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    Love is the music, the energy and we are the dancers. Joy is the central current, the most dynamic expression of love. When we fall out of its energy love becomes a name.

    Your poem captures how we are constantly questioning ourselves about being worthy to have what we want and deserve. It is a self-centered righteous theme that you handle like a sword of sunlight, gentle on the cheek, a fiery wound to the heart. I loved the richness that grows in your words.

    Love, Tom B.

    PS Klassy lassy sent me with all her benedicitions.


  • Asdzaa Nadleehe
    April 21

    Edit | Reply
    Nicolette, My dear these sweet words are so beautiful and moving.
    You are such an amazing soul~

    Many blessings to you and your shadows~
    ~A~

  • klassy lassy
    April 21
    Edit | Reply
    Nicolette, I woke thinking of you about 30 minutes ago, and here--a link to this poem! There are shadows and vast distances and temporal bodies, but love is only one thought away and knows nothing of these things.

    Rationalization. No.... Love is; that which fills the moon and stars with light, leaves dew on roses, fills oceans with amethyst and turquoise, leafs spring in a mantra of green, lets water spring from stones in the desert, and the African violet blooms.

    No tinkling symbol or sound of brass, it calls into living identity:

    "Not only am I never without you,
    you alone are my blood,
    from my first to my last body
    my most luminous blush.

    Nobody can steal your name from my lips, nobody
    can lower the red banners you let fly
    from my mouth."

    We are... and we know.
    Always



    What a joy you are!

    ~ Karen




  • Macsword
    April 21

    Edit | Reply

    Love Poetry not my forte...but

    your simple name,
    that has found its residence in me. (This is cool)

    you alone are my blood,
    from my first to my last body
    my most luminous blush. (cool also)

    The entire write flows very nicely. A very enjoyable read poet. Thank you.

  • everhealing
    April 20
    Edit | Reply

    nice write

    it's good, i like the descriptions. they give the poem a peaceful flow.


  • kaibab silver member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    In my heart I'm heading south...to ocean-drifting continent, awash with juvenation, walking sand in seeking footprint...following these words in scented sound surriounding green in blue embrace...so vey beautiful this is my SA queen of line that lingers


  • awannabepoet
    April 20

    Edit | Reply

    Superb

    Surely it is the love that one has for that soul we hold dear be it the al mighty or the man, woman of our hearts.

    "Even when I say
    that I have forgotten you,
    do not believe me.
    Not only am I never without you,
    you alone are my blood,
    from my first to my last body
    my most luminous blush."

    Devotion expressed through the deepest of sorrows and the most vivid of pain when one knows what true love really means.

    A perfect balance between understanding, forgiveness and compassion this you truly have expressed.

    I like it, I like it so!


  • IronIcecream
    April 20

    Edit | Reply

    exchanging crosses
    lit red banners crimson
    simple, eloquent

    there's ellegance in pulling the first straw
    or being left with the last
    alone, choiceless dreaming of an option
    like everyone is


  • Jersene gold member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    what can I say that hasn't already been said...stunning poetry Nicolette. I think Neruda would feel honoured by your poetry.


  • Balldinger silver member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply

    everything in between

    sublime tenacity. intense imensity. supreme correlation between bodies. natural movement - unforced flow. good gracious. applause without pause.

  • dreammerchant
    April 20
    Edit | Reply

    better than my words....
    superbly writeen.. just beautiful


  • NurseChilly gold member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    ohh yes, you do know and you know it well and nobody could say it any better than this...
    superbly spoken..
    you have that gift of a woman who knows... when i grow up, i want to be just like you... yes i do.. yes


  • Emmyb gold member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    this is lovely. original for sure. beautifully thought through. youve really got something unique here. I am very impressed. Emmyb.

  • Rowan gold member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    Nicolette, this is one of my new favorites by you. This is so moving, in its form, art, and intent..
    I loved this one. Bookmarked to re-read.


  • Malabu
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    Oh how I wish
    the moon would
    give you its stars
    and the nights sweet mist
    to rise with your sighs
    and may tomorrows's sun
    reflect your smile
    knowing the enchantment of love
    will shine through your eyes
    Mal


  • quietly burning
    April 20
    Edit | Reply
    selfless, sacrifice ... the passion of love.

  • Allyce May gold member
    April 20
    Edit | Reply
    I love this more with every read. I think maybe one of the greatest things about you is that you're not fully aware of just how great you are



  • Son of Jim
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    Of course it is inspired by Neruda!!!

    "Meanwhile I write your name,
    your simple name,
    that has found its residence in me. "

    To me this is the essence.

    Everything in this poem is imagery and metaphor and intelligence. A little longer than I am used to from you and the use of personal pronouns a little stronger, but you have made this poem the perfect entry. You have that soul, that manner in the words you put together are married. They belong together, it isn't just a gathering of language, it is a relationship.

    Great poem, thanks for sharing and good luck

    Jim


  • campanaro silver member
    April 20

    Edit | Reply

    Nicolette,

    This is one of my very favorites by you.
    Incredibly tender and heartfelt.
    Thank you for sharing this lovely poem.
    Best to you in the contest.
    Love Peace
    campanaro


  • Ava Noire silver member
    April 20
    Edit | Reply
    Oh this is just beautiful


  • arafura gold member
    April 19
    Edit | Reply
    One of your very best! Beautiful!


  • Randomly Beautiful
    April 19

    Edit | Reply
    Your voice is strong and smooth in every piece. Sensational as always.


  • Oisin silver member
    April 19

    Edit | Reply
    I am curious "Thorn of passions, sword of sorrows
    that slashed a via dolorosa through my heart;"
    are you speaking of poetry? I might be completely outside this one but I know where Neruda thought religion was.

    A tribute or an inspired by...of course.

  • Allyce May gold member
    April 19
    Edit | Reply
    Well, Mrs Neruda, this is absolutely stunning. There is so much love within this poem it is moving. So much of it that made my breath catch in my throat: the crosses; the flowers; the luminous blush and the ending, which made me tear up.

    So beautiful, as are you

  • Night Hope gold member
    April 19
    Edit | Reply

    I am quite pleased that Miss Allyce & I provoked ya straight into this one, my Sister. As I told you before, if Neruda was still among us, he would have no choice but to fall deeply & madly in love with you...However, I do believe he'd have to stand in line. You are ever so lovely, Sweetie...& your pennings grow only more powerful & pure. Good luck in the contest. Love you, Woman. Vlindertjie




  • LadyElbereth
    April 19
    Edit | Reply

    Sigh

    I am in awe of your eloquence simply elegant…

    Lady E


  • Daizee silver member
    April 19

    Edit | Reply
    I don't know what other words to use.The prior comments have said them all.. other than I sighed too.....

    Love,
    Stacy

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