It seems a bit sad, a little bit funny
that lifes meaning nothing without booze, fags and money
That I can preach like a saint when the smiles have all gone
but not look in the mirror and see how it went wrong
I wish, I had hoped, I would make it one day
To the top of that mountain, through the lies and haze
I watched as people passed, gave way to the winners
To join in the fun, get loud with these sinners
Cause my pit had no bottom, I just fell and I fell
Swimming in an emptiness on comparable to hell
Only so much to drink before you smile turns to tears
and the people who envied become witness to fears
of being noone, being nothing but a victim of pride
Running and running from the shit thats inside
Heres to the laziness, to the ill do that laters
to the drugs and the booze and to the rest of you wasters
To letting the days drift from one to the next
to the half hearted efforts while we hope for the best
To you, and to me, and all the dreams that we chase
To the dreams, to the belief, heres hoping on fate
So ill keep going, keep my chin riding high
Keep moving with the crowd living my lie
That one day it will happen, i'll be more than just this
That Ill find them bottom of my bottomless pit
Author notes
Literally not been or wrote anything on here in aggggges, but your contest caught me in a really shit mood and this pretty much summed it up. Hope you like, and of course 'cm'
A contest entry
- I SIT and I ROCK and I WAIT...LONGING FOR DEATH TO COMFORT ME by liquidmindforever.
400 points, ended April 21, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
HOPE: Inert. Inane. Inactive.
Dear Poet,
Thank you for entering my contest I SIT and I
ROCK and I WAIT with your poem HOPE
Your entry addresses the hopelessness of hope.
The Universal cry for help while waiting for some unseen hero/ine to come to rescue...
Here are a few things for you to consider
ut a hyphen between "half" and "hearted"
"To you, to me, to all the dreams..."
To letting the days drift from one to the next
to the half hearted efforts while we hope for the best
To you, and to me, and all the dreams that we chase "I'd omit 'that'
To the dreams, to the belief, heres hoping on fate
So ill keep going, keep my chin riding high You need an apostrophe i'll"
Keep moving with the crowd living my lie
That one day it will happen, i'll be more than just this
That Ill find them bottom of my bottomless pit
Again you need an apostrophe "i'll"
This poem is strong and carries a message.
I think HOPE has potential-no pun intended
Best regards
Liquid
If you choose to edit before I judge, let me know and I'll reread. This piece could be among the finalists-- Is that hope?
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