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tattoo in a bottle






emotional naivety
is etched into her trust,
a paper-weight to steady narrow skin
as it breaks open, unfolding toward less harrowing
geometries of sin

~

inside remains intact enough
to covet some tomorrow, yet viably transparent
so that too-real moments are able to pass
unnoticed,

unlike the fake memories she wishes
were real-

invisible tattoos drawn inside-out








Author notes

Edits: 4
Wordcount: 59

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Saffron gold member
    May 10

    Edit | Reply
    I’m with the others here—the ending here is very strong. I particularly like the whole notion of fake memories—we all have them, don’t we...

    In the first stanza, is “naivity” spelled correctly?

    I loved this, as I always do of your work. Thank you so much for entering this.


    Saffron

  • Your ending line was hard hitting and so powerful,
    Gold's taken.

    Best of luck!
    Sophie.
    x

  • tara wilson gold member
    April 18
    Edit | Reply
    the two ending lines... so good. i always love your poetry.