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peach

Missing image

 

 

 

i

 

 

should I name her
after nature
she’d be the blackest tulip

one made by trial and error
by pretentious Victorians

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

ii

 

in the milkiest light
her cheeks resembled
firm fruit

and if she held
her mouth open
sometimes shadows
could be seen sliding
below the peachy bone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

iii

 

although she
couldn’t remember
where she started

exactly

she knew the semi-shrivelled
blades resting on her shoes;

the rips and grooves
of the air around her

and she knew she was
more than half way there

 

 

 

Author notes

Note to judge:
I asked for three prompts in case I couldn't work with one, but I love them all.
So, I hope you won't mind that I sort of used them all. I haven't used the title as you gave it to me, but I have used one word from it as my title.
I was mostly inspired by the image...but as you may be able to spot I liked the word too.

I was planning on writing separate ones for each, but my mischievous muse didn't agree. So, I'm sorry. I hope you don't mind.

 

Image Credit

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Kiss the girl--x
    May 27

    Edit | Reply
    mixing up the prompts is fine, and it's brilliant.

    iii.
    is absolutely amazing, its definitely my favourite stanza.

    this is amazing.

    ♥


  • enlightenedatheist
    May 17

    Edit | Reply
    I love the imaagery and use of wording in this I cant believe no one has commented on this because it is very nice!


  • ajocean silver member
    May 16
    Edit | Reply
    summing it all up i will be back


  • Gypsy Via Orleans
    May 16
    Edit | Reply
    i enjoyed reading this very good poem. good luck in the contest


  • midnightnursex
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    and if she held
    her mouth open
    sometimes shadows
    could be seen sliding
    below the peachy bone

    Wow, I absolutely loved this stanza, all of the words are placed so elegantly in a powerful form, there really are no words for this poem, you kept the reader inticed through the title, the first line and the last line. It truly is outstanding, I believe I may have found a new favorite!

    aha <3 This poem was a total jaw-dropper, through and through. Congrats!


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    Applause-Applause-Applause!

    your textures were rich and dark
    seeping the imagery's light and courage!
    well done!
    feast of a poem to enjoy!
    ears/Seattle
    way to write!


  • emma...
    May 16
    Edit | Reply
    I love the thing you did with the spacing and the three parts. beautiful...almost eerily sad.


  • SoPunkItHurts
    May 16
    Edit | Reply
    It's very nicely written, I like x

  • Kiss the girl--x
    April 26
    Edit | Reply
    word:
    open

    title:
    orange peel kisses and peach flavoured hugs

    picture:
    http://plastikstars.deviantart.com/art/They-can-t-save-us-now-119087010

    hope those are okie
    ♥

1 - 9 of 9