my charcoal climbs
past the optimistic maybes
set low enough to tempt
looks for an only ever: one worthy witness
beyond this shell of I [or was that eye?]
self may have worked better
but I won't remove ambiguity
life doesn't
Author notes
Prompt 4: 30-45 words on... We all fall down.
Wordcount: 41
Edits: 4
A contest entry
- Brevity is my friend by Randomly Beautiful.
400 points, ended April 29, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)
Comments
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Life doesn't remove ambiguity, so maybe life will decide who is worthy? Like the twist and turns of fate. I think everything happens for a reason, but no one has an answer as to why. At least I don't. lol. "Past the optimistic maybes" really stood out to me, partly because I myself get tired of disappointments, and that only happens because your optimistic/hopeful. But how do you move beyond that? Be apathetic? Be insensitive? I somehow missed this poem till now, but I think that its how our perceptions, the things we see, determines our thoughts/words/actions, etc. Even hearing plays a role in defining the world around us. And well, I think thats the biggest challenge that you face every second, is trying to overcome those barriers or perceptions. I think you expressed that challenge or hindrance very well here. I myself am guilty of seeing the world in black and white, even though I know that there is a lot of gray out there. Now look what you've made do, ramble on and on lol. Wonderfully penned Hope your doing okay.
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