Till the day I die
I will be a rebel.
I think over years it will treble.
With a sword in one arm
and a sphere in the other
I'll get you back you and your brother.
Rebels don't stop
they just keep on going
all the greatness it just keeps on showing.
We'll slice you and cut you
until we get our own way
we're getting our revenge each and everyday.
We know this is bad
but us rebels like to win
committing every bad thing sin after sin.
Don't put us down
or we'll get you back
before you know you'll be under attack.
Watch us as we stand
in rebellious glory
for now you know the rebel story.
Author notes
A contest by tearsofsilence:
Prompt: Rebellious Glory
Picture: http://i235.photobucket.com/albums/ee317/sflgrouch/rebel.jpg?t=1238737401
Hope you like, I know its kinda rubbish.
But this is the insperation I got from the picture. 
A contest entry
- Give me your best prewrites by Blue-Rose Beauty.
500 points, ended April 23, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 2nd Round (Invite Only) by tears.of.silence.
1200 points, ended May 8, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Okay..I kinda rushed this. Its real bad I know. Not to harsh comments please.
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
-
Not this one
It is in the line of revenge which wouldnt go over too welL OK -
Loved
This is niceeeeee! You have a great talent I see already! I enjoy your motives & poem's "easy depth", I'm going to call it! It flows so nice, forceful but not constipated and its very relative. *Just remember even though revenge can be very stimulating at times, it is always bitter-sweet. Great write!
-
Well written. Has such greatness and I loved the rebel feel, a certain song comes to mind from this one show, but cna't think of the name of it. Oh, well, this was still awesome.
-
Ha!
All the songs that come to mind after reading this is almost mind numbing
-
i love it
-
Mmm, well I think this is lovely. Hehe, well written, the rhythm didn't seem too forced, but the below comment is right, hun. Keep penning. Good luck!
-
Ok, I would like for you to go back and think about this poem. Your story is great and it gave me a laugh. But the first stanza could use a little tweaking I believe. Just go back and read it.. I think you will see what I mean. Let's not rush things.. You have a few weeks to decide what to do with this. Other than that, this poem is realy good. I love the ending. Thank you for actually following the rules and entering this second round, I looked forward to your next 2 poems. Thanks. Kahy
-
Its nice
You could have put more emotion. In it
-
Very nice. The only advise I could give is to tidy up the count. Interested?
-
-
Thanks
and yeah I am
-
-
i liked it !!!!!!!!! as always your poems are great keep up the good work and those good writes comming
i want to see you win this contest(s)
Shuberth
-
-
Thankssssss
I hope I do well in the contests too lol hehe
-
-
You've done very well with the picture prompt, considering this was a rush job as you say. This poem has a lot of potential, and with a few minor adjustments here and there, would be even better. Best of luck in the contest, and thanks for sharing your talents.
-
-
Thanks allot
I appricate the comment..and thanks for taking the time to read my poem.
-
-
this is good. but it seems like you was running with a sword on your back and a pen and a paper and writing about what you about to get into.slicing and cutting. over all again this IS good. i like the concept. and great title.
-
excellent, image well described...
-
-
Thankyou very much
-
-
The thought is good. I agree with comment below
-
-
Thanks
-
-
its not that bad darlin, its good for a rushed one...go over it again, and make it ebtter if you like, keep this a draft. well done huni
Adding your comment:
1 - 20 of 20
