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Contradiction Within Myself

Relax, population.
I only want to speak in words.

I don't want to live up to what I expect of myself
Because the world wants something they can understand.
Not what gives them an inferiority complex.

Even though I'm always the one unpleased
I don't want to win
In front of a crowd who thinks I should'nt have.

I don't want to have to be jealous of envious
Of those I don't accept
But everyone loves

I keep on telling myself, that I should never be the same
As the people who are colored all in gray
But who is to say they're not full of light and color?

All of us find ourselves not knowing
What to want, what to do
And I thought what I wanted was acknowledgment

But what I really wanted was more of a praise
And some people are very much right
It doesn't take big words to win people's hearts

It takes a bigger heart of your own.

Of which I don't have, so I won't give
But I'll offer you my best
and accept the rejection you slide in my face.

This has always bothered me, and for such a long time I have wondered
Why I am so overlooked, but now it's obvious
That I've paid more attention to trying to win - that I was almost willing to turn myself into something I knew I didn't want to be.

What's also obvious is that the majority of you probably could care less
That you all have your problems with yourself
And so you don't need to hear mine.

But hear me one last time;
Never lie to yourself.

Author notes

This is me trying to express my feelings without all the gigantic words.

Honesty is my future's savior

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • MJ Forgives
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    Wow this is a really great poem. I am glad your friend named myusikah told me to read your poem. It was great. Love and Peace!
    -Jess


  • myusikah
    October 13

    Edit | Reply
    Big words just make you sound more mysterious, and better.
    Without your use of big words, I feel like you're describing the word you can't use.
    And, honestly, it kills it.

    I liked your poetry better when I had to have a tab open for Dictionary.com.

    -->pia♫♪


    • Nalyn
      October 15
      Edit | Reply
      I was just using alpo as a diary at this point XDD


      • myusikah
        October 17
        Edit | Reply
        But that's what poetry is, except it's a more artistic form of a diary, and you get to play and bend words.

        It is beautiful, it really is.

        You know that chick, MJ Forgives up there? ^^

        I told her to stalk you. ^_^

        Have fun~

        -->pia♫♪

1 - 6 of 6