Some days, I find your face to be an oasis; a mirage of sorts, that I can transcend into anything I want with the click of my tongue. Some might find this exciting, the ability to morph facial expressions into a picture book I've so badly longed to read, but it isn't what it's all cracked up to be. You still seem to make the ink blot & the pages crease. The deserted weather decreased your values. You'll never be in mint-condition.
& as I sit here tonight, I take those sepia eyelashes I've wished on for almost 3 years now, & count their blessings. They don't add up to much, but neither did we. You simply can't put a price on a pronoun.
I guess what I'm trying to articulate is art. My own masterpiece. You can take this how you want.
Read it backwards, forwards, upside-down. Hum it. Sing it. Make it loud.
Whatever you choose, just keep this voice in the back of your brain. I need somewhere to sleep, to spend the night, & your optical lobe produces the only dreams I see anymore. It's just enough to tide me over. I'm parched for imagery,
& you can only lead a horse to water;
my mind's too chapped to drink.
Author notes
Am I back? No.
I feel terrible that I haven't been able to muster anything up for you though, Chandni, so here you go. I guess it's simply "minimal", since it's all I have.
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A contest entry
- Mental Asylum [INVITE ONLY] by Never Fall in Love.
1750 points, ended June 11, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mental Asylum [invite only] by Never Fall in Love.
400 points, ended June 14, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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"You simply can't put a price on a pronoun" - love that.
This is written with intensity, I felt it. It sucks when we often see someone we are attracted to - we make up ideas about the possibilities, but reality kicks idealism out the door...and as you said "it isn't what it's all cracked up to be".
But then, at the end of the day, maybe it is? That's why we wonder if the other person is thinking about us - or we want the person to keep us in their mind since it is a comforting thing to know we are remembered not just by anyone, but someone we admire, and long for.
That's how I related to this, interpreted it. You may not be back, but you've still got the spark of originality.
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Minimal works for me, because it's like you save all the ideas for the one peice you'll sparsely write.
Which makes it brilliant.
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Writer's block? You've ever had writer's block? I so doubt it. BUT, maybe... if a poet is waiting for inspiration to write about his/her own feelings. Writing about the events of the day is easier. lol Your writing here is classical wonderment. Love it and congratulate you for your brain working so well.
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optical lobe.. never in my life have i seen someone use those words SO well. geeze... i didn't realize how much i missed reading you :/ don't worrie you might feel dry now but you'll be kickin' in no time at all
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It felt a little less original than most of your work, but there were some amazing lines, like putting a price on a pronoun and you'll never be in mint condition.
As far as constructive criticism goes, maybe a stronger beginning with more of a punch?
But I like it as is as well!
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Really, really good stuff here, Chase.
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i will be honest, you may not be back, but you are definitely shaking the rust off of those hinges. there was a lot of your old genius in this, and i look forward to more of it.
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*applaud*
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But really though Chase, this piece was great.
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sorry, christina's comment was cute though, so I wanted to make mine cute
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lol. I'm pretty sure that you don't have to compete with me if you want to seem cuter [than me] in his eyes. haha ♥
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love love love love love this. and you.
I knew your muse was just napping. and I will disturb it once more if it decides to sleep too long again, haha.
ps. you can edit out the "almost" before three years. happy anniversary, honey. ilymuchlymuch
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