In the arms of a lover,
in front of the fire that hovers.
Listening to the cracking sounds it makes,
later we'll eat some left over wedding cake....
Smiling and saying, "I love you, forever more."
Hearing him reply, "I love you too, like never before."
Ending this wonderful evening with nothing but this,
a passionate, never forgetful, true loving kiss...
My dream is going to be forever and after.
Also known as my, "Happily Ever After."
Author notes
This is my happy ending. Not with all the ponies and bands nor kingdoms with princess and princes or dragons and unicorns.
No, this is my happily ever after.
I know it's weird but please. I tried my best.
- Comments group list • next in list
A contest entry
- ANYTHING GOES!! PIF by Jade.Butterfly.
2000 points, ended April 23, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - willies ultimate adventure by Freiheit89.
420 points, ended April 30, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrite Contest III by T.o.r.t.u.r.e..
700 points, ended May 18, 126 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love, Honest, Be Creative by Jamzine.
450 points, ended July 23, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 3 3 3 Pre Write Knock Out by WuzGood.
900 points, ended July 16, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Bitte comment?
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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No. Good luck
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thx for entering
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It's simple, it's short, it's sweet, and I can appreciate that. 'Twas nicely penned! Well done!
Safely hidden in the darkness,
~ The Rocker Who Lost All -
Smiling and saying, "I love you, forever more."
Hearing him reply, "I love you too, like never before."
Ending this wonderful evening with nothing but this,
a passionate, never forgetful, true loving kiss.
very cute. -
That is really cute. And I adore rhymes
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very cute. very true. i love poems about happily ever after's. excellent.
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That's really sweet.
And you're right - it can't be a happy ending without cake!
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Awh it's really sweet! I love the bit about the cake too. Thank you for entering the contest and good luck.
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I want a happily ever after like this too.
This was a great piece, I enjoyed reading this piece
very much.
Good luck, Thanks for entering -
BOOO
william thats mean
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Wow I want that happily ever after too. Lol this is really good. Fairy tales move over reality is getting better. Lol keep up the good work
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an image of what me and my partners holiday last year was supposed to be, just as perfect as this. then we had a bike crash, it rained the whole time and got his cast wet, and i was sore with gravel rash! love the poem and will always be a reminder of how it was meant to be! lovely write x
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Mole, baby. Great job in getting this into the Spotlight on the front page. I really like this. The rhyme scheme was really good, and your emotions are just amazing. I feel that this could be more showing instead of telling, by use of metaphor and other poetic devices, but this is still really good. So heartfelt. Great job Molli.
Joshy, Baby
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hey I like ur poem, its really good. [;
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thats really good
it looks like it wouldnt be deep because of how short it is but its really good
go look at the one i posted and tell me what you think of i -
i love it Molli!!! you are a great and woderful poet i hope your happy ending goes as planned! Molli Twinny!
Love always,
your Twinny,
Molly
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This is a very nice write!
I enjoyed how you used this sentence in the beggining:
"In the arms of a lover,
in front of the fire that hovers."
Very nice metaphor!
when you wrote: "Listening to the cracking sounds it makes, later we'll eat some left over cake...."
Just a little suggestion,
to ryhme with makes-
you could use:
takes, breaks, lakes,
aches, wakes, fake, date,
sake, and rakes.
The rest of the poem is nice, just that part kinda threw me off a little, bcuz the poem is not talking about food but intsead love and your happily ever after!
The rest is very wonderful and you make an excellent poet!
I look forward to more poems from you!
Keep up the fantastic work!!
Sincerely,
~Trill~
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Well. The cake was suppose to be the wedding cake. XD
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I too feel you need to tweek this a bit. It still a very nice write expreeing love and happyiness. A very enjoyable read.
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This is a nice write and I can see why someone liked it enough to have it featured on the front page of the site.
One small critique, the rhyming felt just a tad forced. "Later we will eat some cake" seems to be there more for the rhyme than for the content. It felt the same way in the second line with the word "hovers." Still a nice write, though in my opinion you may be able to make this piece even better with a bit of editing
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a good poem, happy ever after is what we all dream of, and some of us are lucky, for we find it.
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wow amazing.*sobs*
if you could find someone that would treat you like this its qould be your hahpyy ending.
xx broken harted girl xx
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This is so true. This is what everybody wants and hopes to get. It is a dream based on reality it can happen and we just hope it does. The fluffy bunnies prince and princess junk is like waiting up to see santa come down the chimney. awsome poem!!!
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Touching. The only thing I can think to say. It makes me wish I could have so many things and that's just the way a beautiful memory should end. Best of all, it doesn't have to when it's like that.
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good luck in the contest you have such a wonderful write here. Wonderfully written and it was a pleasure to read.
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Thank you.
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Lovely.
I agree. I mean. We all want to have an happy ending to our life before it ends. Great job, Molli. You did excellent.
I love your flow and the way you put you heart into it.
~SnakeVemon
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