As a mother's love turns to fear
and darkness swallows the minds of all,
last resorts become the norm
a jeweled dagger is the weapon of choice
to put a daughter out of the misery of the unhappy world
turning a deaf ear to her daughter's desperate pleas
she stabs, consumed with madness, again and again.
As the girl fades out of the imperfect human world
the last thing she see and the last thing she hears
is her mother, crumpling to the ground,
breaking down into uncontrollable sobs
at the unthinkable deed she has just committed.
Author notes
This is adapted from the ending of a pass-it-on story I wrote in English class. My friend was mad that I killed her character, but I was sort of intrigued.
A contest entry
- Give me your best prewrites by Blue-Rose Beauty.
500 points, ended April 23, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Farewells, goodbyes, and tragic endings by Zixaphir.
600 points, ended April 29, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Writes Galore by tears.of.silence.
400 points, ended May 18, 257 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
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Seems a little too vague. I understand what is happening, but with no context to go by, only the most basic elements remain to tell the story. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing, but I think it could be worked on a bit, with all these descriptive words and not much actually said.
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That was......
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Is that god or bad? Bad, I'm assuming, since you didn't finish the comment, but this is a very unhelpful type of comment since I don't know what you think of it.
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YAY i get to be the first to comment
I like it stragely
its very unique and original
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