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Waiting

Missing image
Waiting

While I wait on the path for you, my thoughts become sad
Are you with another, does she make you feel glad?
I think of times you wanted me, we met beneath this light
Took your love for granted, till you disappeared one night.
I want you back to love me, the way you did before
No one else can take your place, could ever love you more
Give me the chance to show you that I make your heart soar.

Jenelda White April 17th 2008

Author notes

Not personal-just my thoughts from where the picture took me.

In a list

A contest entry

Love like you've never loved before

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8
  • DeeCrepit gold member
    April 23

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    The hidden acrostic makes this as special in form as it was in thought. We must thank Hugh for pointing out what would otherwise have been missed!
    terry


  • Yemassee gold member
    April 20

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    I'm glad it's not personal. I write a lot of my stuff like that too.

    And thought it's not personal, most of us have been there, at the end of a relationship, wondering what the other is doing, getting sad, jealous, angry...man, I'm glad I'm not in that situation, Never again!

    It is lovely and sad and a little desperate as we shamefully are in such situations...not that I can remember back that far.


  • Aesthete2000 gold member
    April 20

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    Ah, Jen, you extracted the mood
    right out of the scene, so poignantly.
    The inner look "Took your love for granted"
    adds insight of a real person to the image.

    Prompt well taken!!

    M-C


  • pixiestix gold member
    April 20

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    Returning to "the spot" hoping the feeling of love still lingers there to soothe the waiting. Most people don't like to be kept waiting, trying to pass the time as best they but when it comes to the heart it seems endless.

    I love the picture and think you've captured it perfectly in your words.


  • J aime Coudre silver member
    April 19

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    I was glad to hear it was not personal...but a great job of putting yourself into the picture....Good luck..Darlene


  • Blushfulmoon silver member
    April 18

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    excellent~

    Love the Acrostic
    And the thoughts as well
    Best of luck in the contest
    Glad I am not judging this one LOL
    Hugs
    Susan~~~


  • hugh wyles silver member
    April 18

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    Dear Jenelda,

    Ah! Pity the unhappy maid
    who, waiting here in vain,
    so wantonly has been betrayed
    by her unfaithful swain.

    His sentimental serenade
    she'll never trust again
    nor promises and vows he made
    her favours to obtain.

    On him her heart and soul she laid
    but felt his ardour wane
    till, with another maid he strayed
    and broke her heart in twain.

    Ah! Pity this unhappy maid
    who waits for him in vain
    as hopes and joys begin to fade
    to be replaced by pain.

    Your poem eloquently expresses the mood of the picture and the forlorn hope that her love will draw him back to her. It was only when I noticed the listing that I realised this was an acrostic poem which is the mark of a good acrostic.
    Applause, love and hugs, XXX (Hugh (R.)







  • Maureen silver member
    April 18

    Edit | Reply
    I love where your thoughts took you after looking at this beautiful picture! Very nicely done!

    Best of Luck in the contest!

    ♥ Maureen

    P.S.: I didn't even know it was an Acrostic until I saw the list you put it in (Very Good!)!

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