in in in
here it comes and settles in in in
inside the ridge of my collarbone, that long lean slip
of your finger, in in in
my rib cage, now, hooking, and not
letting go.
out out out
like smoke from lungs
out out out
the solitude, from my womb
where it grew for 9 seconds before
you came along with your
carefully needled briefcase
to show me
loss.
stop stop stop
speaking;
I am deaf and so is love
stop stop stop
sighing because
I can smell the bad intentions
on your breath
and
someone
else
is in need
of a God.
Fire the cannons.
Comments
-
yes yes! "i can smell the bad intentions on your breath!!!" very sharply written, (althought i wish these people/situations weren't so prevalent.) Lovely poem
-
woops
-
the way this is written is very interesting.
theres a lot of deep metaphore also.
the first stanza is sexual, as the second is medical. i know what youre getting at here, and the line "to show me loss" is very significant.
im not sure who the third stanza is directed at though. i can picture a few different possibilies and thats the beauty of poetry. i get frusterated when i cant figure out exactly what the auther means however, i like to actually know rather than interpret something relatable to myself..thats just me though.
anywho, this is really good, and ive been re-readingit over and over.
Adding your comment:
