Canteen of contentment,
utter happiness in sipping the sin.
All my life's work,
vacuumed into a fictive world,
where addiction is as comfortable,
as money.
Solid green paper,
rolled up in pride.
Handled by all,
conquered by the minority.
Clouds of trumped up merriment,
that glosses over the eyes of truth.
Disguises the ugly,
and smears on make-up, half-heartedly,
to appeal to the victims.
Some pretend the 'lucious' liquid
is a god.
Seeing through nothing,
romancing the very thought of a get-a-way.
If only they could envision,
the lies that are spewing out of media's mouth.
The ugly truth that lies within
the bottle.
I did.
That solid green paper,
rolled up in pride,
is not burnt up on vile water.
On a fake paradise.
I do not pursue
the tinted yellow bottle,
that molds perfectly in my hand.
I parade with happiness,
stroll down the street.
I dumped my old love
in an ash heap.
With millions of others,
who did the same.
Author notes
NOTE! i have never drank before, im thirteen, so i have NEVER gone though this!!!
just my take on it, on how it might be for someone.
and i dont know if this is what you're looking for? maybe? (:
- So you want comments group list • next in list
- Just A Little Odd group list • next in list
A contest entry
- IMAGERY - Prewrites Welcome by Heavens Child.
575 points, ended April 20, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Writes Galore by tears.of.silence.
400 points, ended May 18, 257 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mental Illness and Drug Addiction/Alcoholism by Viyanna Rosemarie.
650 points, ended May 7, 24 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - When Addictions Fail by Bean Sidhe.
700 points, ended June 8, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what you think? (:
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
-
i really thought it imaginative how you wove this altogether... truly. ... wish I had this sense at your age. smiles. and $ ... Love,
-
-
Gahh, thank you!
-
-
You are quite the anomaly, to be so young & not have experienced addiction personally, and yet be able to write so convincingly. There are certain parts to this piece that I personally was enthralled by - particularly the use of alliteration in the first few lines.
There is a steady intelligence that flows through the piece and I am quite impressed by your skills. Very nicely done. Thank you for your entry in my humble little contest & good luck to you!
- Bean Sidhe -
-
gahhhh...
.blushes.
thank you sooo much!
-
-
Amazing write! love the flow of it and the meaning behind it was perfect and anbody can relate to it.. great write
love forever and always
Miss Ciara Ann Sparks
-
-
thank you! (: your comments always seem to make me happy! (:
-
-
Well written I really like your take on this. I was married to a alcoholic. Believe me being with someone that is a drinker well that is no fun and yes they idolize it. Congragulations on the bronze. Thank you for sharing.
-
-
Thank you! (:
-
-
you did a fantastic job on this write. thank you for entering and i wish you well in this contest. viyanna rosemarie
-
-
thank you! (:
-
-
wow this kept me entrhalled until the very last word. excellent insight to what it's like for drug addicts. lol not that i have any experience in that myself...i'm 14!
you're very talented.
-
-
thank you, you're very sweet! (:
-
-
lol. when i was reading this i felt jealous! i'm a year older than you, and i wish i could write like this...
-
-
you know what..i'm going to check out some of your stuff RIGHT NOW. (: because i'm sure you're 10x better. (:
-
-
-
-
very true
wow! amazing knowledge to be so young yet your words are very true. excellent and very wise poem. 234 claps!
-
-
seriously?? (: wow! you just made my day.
-
-
unfortuately there are not enough entries so i am deleting this cotnest. i am sending you points for participating and am wondering if it is still ok to use your wirte for the book? if so, email me at viyannaschance@yahoo.com. thank you and sorry about the contest.
-
-
Dang it.
But, yes that's perfectly fine! (: i'm super excited now. (:
that's all right.
-
-
Awesome take on the prompt. Awesome imagery, I felt the vibes of drunkeness and the affects it holds on your. Nice.
-
-
Thank you soo much. (:
-
-
Excellent! For not having personal knowledge of drinking or addiction you have certainly done a great job describing the process and very poetically also, I might add. This was a pleasure to read.
-
-
thank you for the amazing comment! (:
-
-
nice job with the imagery. great writing.
-
-
thank youuu! (:
-
-
This is wonderful! You really did an incredible job on this poem!
-
-
thanks! (:
-
-
You have a wonderful way with words, and an incredible poetic talent. I love the lines "sipping the sin," "smears on make-up, half-heartedly / to appeal to the victims," "the tinted yellow bottle, / that molds perfectly in my hand." Great ending, too—I love the power to conquer the vacuuming vice. You've tackled a tough topic in a very convincing way. Bravo!
-
-
seriously?? wow, you just made me smile (:
thanks soo much!
-
-
You are an incredible writer for 13! 'solid green paper rolled up in pride', I love this line. Great write, and thank you for entering.
-
-
thank you so much! (:
-
-
wow! holy crap! you are only thirteen and have never drank and you followed all the rules. how in the heck did this all happen? i am impressed. thank you for your entry and i wish you well in this contest. viyanna rosemarie
-
-
haha, i read the rules! that's how. (:
thank you sooo much!
-
-
wowza girl!
O M G!!! Wow. What can I say? The words you use to describe everything is incredible!!
This poem is defantly worth more than one read!
I can't express how much I like this one, other than to congratulate u with a very good choice of topic.
Nice write lil sis....
>>well done < -
-
ghash, i LOVE YOU! (:
you seriously make me smile. and thanks. (:
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 34 of 34
