I can't believe
we ever thought
we'd be alone forever.
that we let the misery of those
necessarily-miserable years
from eleven to seventeen
trick us into believing in a greater, more tragic version of our future,
that we would lie resplendently alone
on our deathbeds
that our dusty mantels
would be both dusty
and empty
(of happy family photos,
and somewhere, a piano playing)
that we let the sharp pain of adolescent loneliness
make us deify Loneliness itself,
worshiping privately
(or publicly, remembering the self-indulgent unhappiness
penciling rivets in our youthful faces)
at our journals, in our prayers, in the ears of friends
chanting, our 'why-me's, our 'want to die' our
'Is it worth it anymore'?
often,
whipping our pain into a frenzy,
we secretly hoped to one day taste
and find sweet.
that we let our minds take the helm
and veer us so terribly off course
from reality,
spinning wildly into the frothing darkness
of a lonely mind
dreaming of awesome ends
of terrible, beautiful martyrdom
thinking naively,
that we are special enough
for our own Grecian tragedy.
that we let ourselves be so trapped in the moment,
that stretched-out moment from blank child
to crafted adult
that we forgot, or didn't know to know
that we aren't that special,
that we aren't the stars, the Willy Loman, the Faustus victims,
the pitiable Oedipus
But that we are
ordinary, plain, normal
average, statistical
and that, more likely than not,
we will couple,
we will find each other,
bumping along like seeds in an unfeeling breeze
we will land, and root, and bloom
and become both more and less
a mother, a father, a wife, a husband
we will find confidant confessions of daily love,
become our reality
we will know what it's like to find that sleeping alone
isn't usually the norm.
we will
(We did)
Take hope.
we will find
Author notes
I'm really struggling to get back to writing the way I used to. I read through some old poems, and it used to be so effortless! Oh well, a side effect of motherhood, I'm sure. Lol.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I think this is very well penned...it reflects that transition in life, especially after you become a parent, and realise the world isn't and cannot be just about you any more. Yes, most of us are plain, ordinary, statistics...soccer mom, hockey mom, worker, wife, nothing extraordinary. I think as long as we remain true to ourselves life will always be at least satisfying.
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thanks for the corrections, I scan over it a million times and still miss some things.
And Cyber Artist, thank you so much! -
Its sometimes hard to see our live in perspective when we are living so close. We feel ordinary,we wonder what if what we might have achieved. but in a thousand years from now will anyone care, will anyone remember. This is a self discovering piece that challenges our hopes and aspirations... well done
Cyber Artist
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lol to your author notes.
you have a couple of errors. i think you have the word "deify" instead of "defy"
and "a unfeeling breeze" instead of "An unfeeling breeze"
other than that, this was interesting... interesting thought process.. =)
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