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April Freedom

A child was born from out the womb
Of a beautiful madden I met in the month of June--
born after the snow after the winds have stopped to blow--
after the rain has fed the flowers--
so that they may grow--
Born to belong to no one --
Born- to be let go--

The month of her birth--
the truest month on earth--
A month when all things are born to be free-
-Free to be who they are--
And meant to be with the one who gave them birth so lovingly-
- A cuddling child and warm--
never meant to morn.

How could you bring a tear to the eye??
For the gods in the sky--
beckon you to live some day,
with them  --upon high.
Born from a beauty I loved in June .
Who gave birth to a child during an April full moon.

For June to me was love--
and April sang it's tune--
from out your mothers womb.

You like a flower are meant to bloom -
-meant to rise above every form of gloom.
April--the word rains in your veins--
on this month the sun shines bright
and reflect's a light upon your face even at night.
For you child--are as bright as the lite--

Who is it that write,s these words- on parchment of white ?
Who felt what he thought was love so right--
for a mother who bore a sol-um dove-- one April night.
And was that Dove set free ?-
-Did it bare the name Freedom reluctantly ?

How can it be -- No!
this young mother would never let her child go .
She told me so .

It is true beauty is free -- meant to last forever until eternity--
But truth belongs to know one accept your self and she. --
Who is your mother-- for she to is free--
Like you a flower --born with beauty and power--
Unto no one she is devoted--
not even to me--

And I love her dearly--
yet merely beg for her mercy to set me free!

April beauty of unrest--
April who's mothers head lie'd

 upon my chest---
Child true--
April- my that month belong to you--

For during those thirty days beauty Raine's in many ways--
And never is it seen more then in your eye's--
Like though's of your mother's--

It,s hard to believe beauty
cries--
Although it never dies.

Author notes

Sorry-- can not spell!!

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • kylierenea
    August 19

    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful poem, I enjoyed reading it. There's nothing I would change about this poem, keep up the good work. Thanks for entering my contest

  • Oh dont worry about spelling...

    we're all human, pumpkin

    I found this differnt but i liked it!

    Well done


  • Loki silver member
    July 19

    Edit | Reply
    The imagery here was good, but the random rhyme, and grammatical errors detract from the poem. For example, in the second line "madden" should be "maiden". There are also parts where simple mistakes were made. Like in the third to last line, "it,s" should be "it's". If I were you, I would take this poem and rewrite it anew. Thanks for entering!

  • No, sorry.

    I myself didn't like the rhyme and found that it didn't follow meter well. I think that your imagery could have been stronger with more metaphors. This had some good ideas to it, it just needs some polisihing. Also, AP has a spell check button, even if you cannot spell. Use it, it kind of distracts the reader. Afterall, these are only my opinions, feel free to take them or leave them. Thanks for entering.

    Josh

  • no. sorry, but i found this to be too repetitive.


  • rainbows. gold member
    July 13
    Edit | Reply
    No.


  • DancingRed
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    You've got some beautiful images in this piece, but I'm not so keen on the end rhyme

    "madden" - I think you meant 'maiden'. Makes a huge difference!

    "in the month of June" - quite wordy, being succinct might be more powerful. I'd be inclined to just say 'June'.

    "April--the word rains in your veins" - my favourite line. Inner-line rhyme works well, and the image this phrase conjures is stunning.

    I think your whole poem would be stronger if shorter, though.

    Thanks for entering!
    DancingRed.


  • cazzy71
    July 2
    Edit | Reply

    not for me

    The -- and double ?? put me of this.I feel it let an other wise fabulous write down.

  • free. Loved tht. Good job good choice of words. Good luck


  • Kira65
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    it is a good poem, i really liked the rhyme! the spelling in not a big problem to me because i am not big on spelling either! but my favorite part is

    It,s hard to believe beauty
    cries--
    Although it never dies.

    Thank you for entering and good luck.


  • nobodys-girl
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    I absolutly love the rhyme in this! and don't feel bad, i can't spell either! thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!


  • Antebellum
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    It,s hard to believe beauty
    cries--
    Although it never dies.


    should be It's.

    thanks for entering.

  • Antebellum
    June 23
    Edit | Reply
    awe lovley.
    I really liked the ending.

  • Bittersweet lovelyness lol
    This was a really good poem, I read some of your other comments so I'll stay off your butt about the spelling thing. Lol we all make spelling mistakes
    This was a really good love poem
    Favorite line
    "And meant to be with the one who gave them birth so lovingly-
    - A cuddling child and warm--
    never meant to morn."
    ~Serenity

  • Judge's Verdict

    Of course spelling is always something you sometimes just have to work on.
    i liked this one and thank you for entering.
    good luck

  • i really like it
    thanx for entering good luck

    foreva professional chocoholic
    L+L

  • i really like this poem. i thought it was good. and i really like long poems, so that was an added bonus. it was sweet yet sad at the same time. bittersweet i guess you could say. very good job!

  • opps forgot the applause

  • I loved the style you really have a great way of writting


  • bandgeek
    May 8

    Edit | Reply
    i am sorry but i specifically asked for GF/BF and/or husband/wife love. i am sorry but you are DQed.

  • Welcome to AllPoetry!

    This is exceedingly longer than the line limit for this contest. I see you have a few spelling errors which really destract the reader as some of them take on a whole new meaning. With a few tweaks, this poem could be really good for the intent.

    Welcome to AP and good luck in the contest.
    Storm
    Site Greeter

  • welcome to allpoetry

    Your poem is way over line limit, and you forgot to include your option in your author's notes. Although you cannot spell, AP spellcheck can help you correct it. Nice poem but needs polishing.



    Shawna
    Site Greeter

  • welcome to allpoetry

    wow this was long but it was good please use spell check

  • Welcome to AP

    While this is too long, I did enjoyed reading it. As others have pointed out, AP has a spellcheck.

    Be Well.


  • Mr-D
    April 28

    Edit | Reply
    Good read, keep it even if you dont edit it as I am sure you can wittle it down as your skill increases.


  • catz Moderators member
    April 28

    Edit | Reply
    This is a very meaningful poem with some special thoughts running through it.
    However it does not meet the requirements for this particular contest which requires no more than around 30 lines. A few more is okay but this one is about 50 lines. In all fairness to the other contestants I must ask that you either modify it down to the allowed lines or enter another poem in its place.

    Thank you for you interest in the contest and I hope to see another entry from you

    Dee

  • poetrymd
    April 17
    Edit | Reply

    never ending great rhythm

    Beautiful poems I love your style


  • CookieZeal Greeters member
    April 16
    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to All Poetry~

    I must say that this has some very special and original lines that blendso unforcefully with the chosen rhymes.

    As my colleague suggests, this is worth the edit by using the spellcheck.
    However, this exceeds the number of lines required. Please review the criteria and try again. Should you need help, please feel comfortable to ask!

    Lovely. Warmly, CookieZeal


  • morgana raven Greeters member
    April 16
    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to Allpoetry

    First thing you yourself point out is spelling mistakes, which is no problem there is a spell checker on the edit poem page which can correct everything for you
    On the content this was written in a very different style to what I usually read. Well written, good luck in the contest.
    Laura.

1 - 31 of 31