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Mine

 

 

 

All the lights

wrung out

and remnants hang warm

like a fog of sweat

clinging to your muscles

pulling them tight

 

setting that nervous

prowess

tone

 

as if we didn't know it ourselves.

 

Rays of morphing marble jump

to avoid the beat

but

it never bothered you.

 

That Miles Davis

cool.

 

He glances coyly

noting every detail -

premonitions ringing

at the base of his skull.

 

Hey James

watch me move

I AM

 

j a z z.

 

Your hand rides leather

but he slides you crystal

and flashes pearl.

 

You unphased minx!

A confusing wink

 

 

if not for the

open taxi door...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt: Power Play

In a list

All I can say is that I hope you like it...

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Daizee silver member
    May 5

    Edit | Reply
    unphased minx... I'm liking that
    This is edgy, seductive, alluring..I could go on, but that's enough adjectives lol.. very nice

    Stacy

  • oooh, very flirty write, rich in imagery and vivid, but also secretive and alluring, leaves something to the imagination. I love all the movement and tension, and how it runs through the whole piece, and never stops. The suspence still lingers, even moments after reading it.


  • Ealdwyne
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    flirtatous..subtle.. enticing and provacative...Interesting write.
    Did she want him to follow, or did she leave him wanting?


    • Keyser Soze
      April 20
      Edit | Reply
      Well, the idea is that she let him think he was the predator when in fact it was her. Now, in my mind she waited for him and wanted him to get in, but in essence it would work both ways. That all depends on how twisted she is, whether she is able to get off on the simple idea of teasing him or whether she still needs to be actually touched, etc.

  • This has such a great attitude to it. good flow.


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    April 18

    Edit | Reply
    This is fantastic, you have one of those unique ways of making metaphors so subtle that you go back and read twice. I loved everything about this. Bravo to you


  • sweet arrival gold member
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    this was intense from the first stanza, painting a dark setting where the hunger would begin... for power.

    'Your hand rides leather
    but he slides you crystal
    and flashes pearl.'

    absolutely loved those lines. probably my favorite in the poem. it eludes to her seduction and his desire.

    the ending also made it seem that he didn't get what he wanted and that she controlled him as she wished.

    i like this. complex and edgy

    • Keyser Soze
      April 16
      Edit | Reply
      Well, yes and no: she leaves him standing there only to leave the taxi door open: an invitation to her place, etc.


  • sweet arrival gold member
    April 16
    Edit | Reply
    when you have it titled, i will consider it complete and will return to read

1 - 9 of 9