In the silence
you can hear my heart's tears,
singer of souls.
I whisper your name in the night
for you no longer return my song
In the silence
you can hear my heart's tears,
singer of souls.
I whisper your name in the night
for you no longer return my song
Author notes
Ki no Tsurayuki
In this endless rain
You make the very sky resound,
Cuckoo.
What regrets have you,
To cry so all night long?
picture PHOTOBUCKET 2746d3c2ccdc2eab129ac066f2bf3181.jpg
In a list
- On Veiwless Wings • next in list
- Tanka Haiku and others • next in list
- A Tanka Day • next in list
- ten tankas • next in list
- Lovers of Oriental Art group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Words That We Couldn't Say... by yukitosumi.
1500 points, ended May 2, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest Best Prewrites From April 2009 by amaranthine lover.
1125 points, ended May 29, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
this is a work in progress,constructive comments
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
-
This is beautiful
-
-
yes every once and awhile we get it right, and this one I am happy with,
so glad you agree dear friend
namaste
-
-
A beautiful poem. A lot said in five lines. Very well written and a great choice to read. Thanks.
-
-
thank you it is one of my faveroits
-
-
excellent~
Oh beautiful
Congrats on the Honorable Mention
It would of been a winner in my book
I have up a new one Question and Answer Survey drop by
Hugs
Susan~~~
-
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh listen you can hear the poem talk.
-
-
ah shucks
-
-
very good write... evokes a lot of emotion... especially the last to lines so much sadness there...
-
-
my humble thanks and a grin
glad you enjoyed, it is one of my favourites
-
-
I liked this.
it's self explanatory
-
-
my humble thanks and a grin
-
-
'In the silence/You can hear my heart's tears.' My goodness, what a fine line, and a really exquisite poem indeed. You really are a Tanka master, and I am just a noisy student who has to be whacked with your bamboo fan once in a while.
-
-
my humble thanks and a grin
hmm interesting thought, bamboo fan whacking!!
-
-
i have known such silence, and whispers unreturned...you have captured it well....Artis
-
-
my humble thanks and a grin
the silence heals in a way that conversation never quite does, we need to be happy being alone with our selves, but ah a twinned soul is a delight -
my humble thanks and a grin
thankyou, very much!
-
-
15.7/25
"I whisper your name in the night
for you no longer return my song"Love that last line, nicely done.
-
-
my humble thanks and a grin
man I gottta get better glasses to readyour font lol ah the trials of getting old
-
-
I really enjoyed this one. It flowed realy beautifully and it is so filled with emotion.
singer of souls.
I whisper your name in the night
for you no longer return my song
Such sweet phrasing.
Best of luck in the contest
-
-
Thank you my friend
I am kind of fond of this one also
-
-
sad and beautiful
This one tugs deeply at the heart.
"Singer of souls" is a wonderful expression and the last two lines just make me want to cry.
Jeannette
I do have a lot of reading to do here. I can see that now.
-
Your words flowed so well. Like a song of harmony. Excellent job and wonderful write! Keep it up!
-
-
my humble thanks
-
-
No problem!
-
-
-
Stunning..
Very soul and heart stirring.
Gorgeous write.
Thank you for sharing this.
The very best to you in the contest.
Love Peace
campanaro
-
-
my humble thanks
-
-
very nice work i love it keep up the great writing..
-
-
my humble thanks and a grin!
-
-
I love this form, and you mastered it, with beauty and skill. This is a sigh poem, that I would have love to have penned. Well done.
Trent.
-
-
my humble thanks and a grin!
it is my favorite poetic form, each time I read the masters words, I shiver, such incredible power they expressed in so few words, unlike Haiku, emotions are encouraged and the two additional phrases are luxurious. now that I have babaled on , thank you for your very kind words
Annie
-
-
Super cool tanka, excellent take on the prompt
-
-
my dear Vito
as alwasy you know exactly what to say,
hugs annie
-
-
ahhhh, wht yukitosumi said. Lita
-
-
My Dear Lita
blush!!
-
-
le sigh....
y and s
-
-
yes I think so
-
-
Good luck in the contest. Another really good wright from you I loved it! This is wonderfully written and a pleasure to read
-
-
my humble thanks and a grin
this is a poetic for that I love, perhaps that shines through!
-
-
Very Beautiful and yet such sad and melancholy words. this write is very deep. Keep up the amazing work and I wish you the best in the contest, I thought it rather amazing "You can hear my heart's tears singer of souls I whisper your name in the night for you no longer return my song" simply chilling. Gives me goosebumps!
-
-
my humble thanks and a grin
The poet Ki no Tsurayuki is amazing, when ever i read his works,I get the shakes,
he cuts straight to my heart,no by pass, dead on, thank you for such a lovely comment, this is one the I am proud of
Annie
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 41 of 41
