My scattered thoughts they float about my feet,
the sea pulls them away returning back.
They slide into a soft and sandy crack,
I watch them fizz and bubble as they meet.
This rose I hold in memory of you,
each velvet petal poised to fall away.
Upon hypnotic waves will seek to stray,
each treasured word I know sail out of view.
My scattered thoughts began when I was young,
they stayed locked up where no one else could see.
The time has come when I must set them free,
red scattered thoughts upon the waves are sprung.
A contest entry
- Anything & Everything for GOLD!! by Hebz.
400 points, ended June 21, 221 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please comment honestly-
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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WOW, I like it alot, & all the images
Thnx for entering & Best of Luck
GloriousGift
Hebz -
This was so touching and what an adorable picture. I love the imagery and the well done rhyme. Very tender. Jane
Fave lines:
They slide into a soft and sandy crack,
I see them fizz and bubble as they meet.
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did u mean...
...fall Away Wobbly?
Why "red" scattered thoughts?
Not your best W IMO.
Sorry.
R.
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What a smashing write Hilly. How well picture and words blend and locked up emotion can slowly float away gently with the waves.
Sheila
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hilly....
this reminded me of when i was little. so many thoughts and wishes i have thrown into the sea. you write beautifully. tenderly. love, lane
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Bless you for that dear Lane-
I talk to the sea quite a lot and it always answers back.
xxx
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