Can I give into-
This sickening depression
Mental spears casting infection
The psychic game
Claustrophobic
Choked by souls
What's your worry?
Don't quit the game.
I'm so worried!
It's all the same.
Lost on a muddy pebble
Life choking life
Can you calm your craze?
Caked in haze
This dusty failure
Can we save her?
Is there a chance to elope?
Escape the hail pouring down
Wish we couldn't give up hope
But where else can be found?
Author notes
Gojira - Ocean Planet
(I could have gone heavier with Toxic Garbage Island, but Mars to Sirius is probably their best album. I look forward to doing one for Pursuit of Vikings too.)
A contest entry
- As Heavy As A Very Heavy Thing by Glasyalabolas.
1900 points, ended May 31, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Heavy critique encouraged. All comments welcome!
Comments
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I like the short lines in this piece, it gives it a very 'clean' feel, if you know what I mean? Uncluttered, I suppose would be a better description.
Good write and congrats on bronze
(Sorry for the delay in comment)
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I really like the raw edge feel it gives me, nicely done
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