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Mirage

vivid, near
honey-flavor
                  tear

looping cross
sticks, rocks
harpoon
            shift lock
shoot

white hot
seaside thirsty
            shot

drip dry
glossy skin
  trading hearts

once again.

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Manicmuze
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    I just love the "sound" of this.. had to read it a couple of times just cuz it felt good :-)
    You play with words in such creative ways. I really enjoyed it, nice to read you again!
    ~ wendy


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    May 16

    Edit | Reply
    I like that this is open to the interpretation of the reader for them to take where they will. I enjoyed coming up with my own reasoning here. Best to you

  • roland halloway
    April 17
    Edit | Reply

    hi

    I like this verry much


  • individuality gold member
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    a good poem, honey flavoured i like, it makes me think of a tear of joy rather than sorrow though the next imagery shifts from that immediately with harpoon and such - death once more arrives in life.


    • CookieZeal Greeters member
      April 16
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so. This one is a 'Huh'? lol

      I like those obscurities that float to the pen, n'est-ce pas? Am editing
      this as we...type!

1 - 5 of 5