Seeing the water hiting rocks,
Watching the surface,
So clear and blue.
Hearing waves on the rocks,
Splashing against them
As the sides raise.
The wind blows
Through my hair
As I smell the air,
Fresh ocean breeze.
I stand alone
Feeling the breeze
On this cold dreary Pier.
Author notes
Hope everyone likes it and honest reviews would be greatly appreciated.
Written March 6th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- All Emotions! by PainsWings.
300 points, ended March 9, 2004, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
-
An excellent conveyance of an oceanic experience, that sort of melancholic feeling that envelopes one as the power of the briny waters crashes onto the rocks and sends up a saline mist that brushes right up against one’s face...this piece really put me there. It just makes me feel so small and fragile, yet content in that realization…these lines especially gave me that feeling, “Hearing waves on the rocks,
Splashing against them
As the sides raise.” The rocking pier and that sense of power and energy the ocean wields…how one can so easily be gone with one giant, heaping wall crashing down…thrust into the oblivion of the deep. Definitely gave me a man verses nature feeling. How we are not so invincible as it seems we tend to act. I also love how beautifully this is written, so calmly, and sweetly. It is not verbose, but clear and vivid in the mind…this poem is written as such that any person who has ever seen the ocean, just once, in any context, can relate. Well done! -
Awesome
Awesome piece you have written...
Love the imagery you create in this one~
Beautiful!!!!
Thank you for sharing this piece~
Definitely look forward to reading more
and much love~Desire
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good piece
love the idea of this poem but the second stanza reads a little unclear,would it be an idea to try 'sides raise' instead of 'side raises',just a thought,hope you dont mind me saying,well done on a fresh piece of writing.regards dragonfly001
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