You suffer all fire
You rise on
You say we're all fine
and you rise on,
Still you rise on.
I shuffle barb wire
I'm that far gone
My sorrow's for hire,
and still you rise on
Rise you on.
Folding skyscrapers, and paper airplanes
Freeway overpasses sandwiching methane
Cellular mouths selling radioactive migraines,
and I am in no position, or mood, to explain
what happened to our love.
So you can go ahead,
and rise on.
Not that you would
have come back for me
anyways.
If you get the chance
to ever dance, again, to
our songs refrain?
I hope you do
in Dorothy's shoes
spit shined by
my pain.
Break your neck
to look behind,
and you will surely find
Every face you rubbed away
To give your teeth that grind.
When, and if, you reach that place
You sold our love to preach about?
I hope you check your rearview mirror,
and it never lets you out.
But, if it's true, and they lied to you?
To get your attention back
Look within, what is sin?
If all mirrors too will crack.
Author notes
Written March 6th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- There is a Crack in everything; Leonard Cohen (contest) by Queen Maab.
500 points, ended May 15, 2005, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 41 of 41
-
you are such a winner...I enjoy all of your work, however the collection in softer side are my favorites...
-
awesome
oh wow this very good. -
Well done
Now this is one that you have to take notice of and I salute you for the write. -
Looks like I've commented on this piece before. My first comment stands. I love what you've written. You have the funnies sense of humour. I love your new motto. LOL...
Maab -
Nice, I liked it, great poem -- can't comment because
I'm blocked, but I'm not going to lose any sleep over it. -
Hrm... This poem looks mighty familiar. I only have one comment and it is in the form of another poem:
allpoetry.com/Poem/1256824
Keep the love
~Bezoar -
Terrific. I think this piece should've placed. It's well written and has so much feeling in it. 'Famous Blue Raincoat,' that's one of my favourite Cohen songs. Anyway, I think you've done a fabulous job here and I wish you luck in your further AP career.
Maab -
I'm blown away by your words. I love what you've managed to produce here. I love your ending lines, "I hope you chick your rearview mirror and it never lets you out." I see the drive for vengeance, the hopes that (this woman) realizes what she has left behind. A rearview mirror, A fabulous rendition of the cliche "hindsight is always 20/20" I love this piece.
-
Bravo
This is an interesting little piece. That's all I got that's worth saying. -
WOW! I like that. I don't normally read lyrics, but for some reason I took a chance on yours...I also liked the title to it. Great write. From SlightlyTwisted
-
wow this is great hearing it as you know, a song, which, you know, it is would just make it even better. good work!!
-
wonderful again
This one is great too I will think about stay your fan or something like that seriously Keep your artistic way of life forever because you are just a right person in right place. Keep self anna -
This is amazing. I'm so astonished at this poem. I dont know how to say it. You clearly have talent and your wording just blew me away. Great job and good luck in the contest!
-
beautimous
Here's why i love your work: what you say actually means something to the ear/eyes. its not random psychobabble or woe is me, it really has the purpose to be read. These lyrics are beautiful. i can't think of another word to describe them with except maybe the juvenile "spifftastic." you honestly blow me away. your music should take you very far. Im curious to hear what the tune to this would sound like.
Loves,
KAT D.
-
beautimous
Here's why i love your work: what you say actually means something to the ear/eyes. its not random psychobabble or woe is me, it really has the purpose to be read. These lyrics are beautiful. i can't think of another word to describe them with except maybe the juvenile "spifftastic." you honestly blow me away. your music should take you very far. Im curious to hear what the tune to this would sound like.
Loves,
KAT D.
-
***.8
good poem, though it seems to lack something (I know not what). Intersting theme, I liked the end. -
Ahhh i was merely boning up on some of your newest work and found it had little meat,critiques are not always full of praise as you well know and have served up yourself quite often,sometimes it reflects what one sees in the rear view as they are pulling away empty and shouting a civil retort as they seek sustenance elsewhere...I will find one of yours I like sometime... and give it just dues, perhaps a little elbow grease, and less remote control on your work might help, and whoever your sweet lover is, send him my best,
he'll enjoy a good read.....have a lovely day!
Edited on Mar 10, 10:17 p.m. because ''. -
It pains me sweet lover when you bone me so,
Hold my remote control, and I'll get on my elbows. -
there are 100 other characters I'd rather comment on....for the featured 3 pts. Liked the rear view mirror part though, not that I'll ever look back. In the spirit of the new policy I will edit my negatives and refrain from too much positive to remain true to myself...Artis
Edited on Mar 10, 10:16 p.m. because ''. -
P.S....
Good luck in the contest
-
Saw your poem "Featured" so I thought I'd come by
and read it , Not bad, Still wondering why " What a life "
frightened you so much.
Hope all is well with you now.
Way cool line
Break your neck
to look behind,
and you will surely find
Every face you rubbed away
To give your teeth that grind.
Yertweetyness
-
Very good I'd like to hear this sung with music. You're quite the lyricist, Jerimi. Very talented writer.
I never seem to tire of your work... haven't read it all yet, but I'm working on it
Dee
-
Great
A great piece you have here Horus! I can't exactly pick out a favorite stanza, because they are all good! Each stanza flowed well, making it easy for the reader. That and it sounds super snazzy! Great job and Good luck in the contest!
~Somber -
Awesome
This is like , OMG!!! I love it, especially the phrase "If you get the chance
to ever dance, again, to
our songs refrain?
I hope you do
in Dorothy's shoes
spit shined by
my pain.
I think this poem is Awesome
-
Whew! Sounds like someones been burnt pretty badly by love. How great it must be..to be a singer, write lyrics, and perform the songs for them to only wonder about. Nice work.
-
awesome
AHH! Bad Company kicks ass. Anywho, this poem was like wow. Very agressive and vengeful.I liked it a lot. It was of the interesting kind. Thanks for sharing such an awesome poem. Keep writing so I can keep reading!! Much love and take care.
REBEL -
I got them out just in time before my ear started draining and ringig again, I'm ill. it sucks. thanks, dorothy, ah, could sex ever be better than with her in that tornado being chased by the witch? never.
-
Stanzas 3 and 5 are pure genius.
Wish I'd thought of those lines. -
I don't even really know what to say... this is wonderful. There's a crystal kind of quality to it, the emotions are refracted into a laserbeam that comes straight at you. Yummy.
-
I don't wanna hear Yoko on triangle. She's only a performance artist. I wanna hear shrieking guitars and thundering drums. I want my ears to bleed and my brain to pulse with the beat.
Recorded this one yet? -
Yes, lets fire the seals on cow bell and bring in yoko ono on triangle.
-
Damn fine song with a nice edge to it. Snappy lyrics with awesome phrases.
Now let's hear some REAL rocking music to go with it. -
Just had to put some Paul on the media player.. just to get into this.
sits in the corner, tappin toes 
-
Yeah.. after Free had split up when Paul Kossoff died.. he formed Bad Company
-
But he was in bad company too, shootingstar, rock and roll fantasy etc... correct?
-
Free
And The Firm
And most recently collaborated with Jools Holland..
He sang Al'right now and My Brother Jake
-
Bad company?
-
Well Nephew.. I could here Paul Rodgers belting this one out.. but he's probably much too old for you to remember
loved the repitition of Rise On.. made it rockingly good...
~GILL~xx -
This William cat, the one who loves kinky sex with chocolate syrup, must be rich. I am sure his songs are wonderful. Great song Horus8.
-
love.
-
seemed like a sad song, it's good
Adding your comment:
1 - 41 of 41
15 old applause
