It is the glimpse of a falling petal that does it; an instant, frozen, illuminated by a single ray of light – like a ripple on a moonlit pond, it quivers. Impossible. Perfect.
Your skin has never been so white as that petal, no, nor as luminescent as the water is this night. The places you touched me left a mark on my skin, on my memory, a rush of sensation that cannot be absolved.
If you take my words and sheer them into letters, card them through your fingers, spin into threads and weave a tapestry of me – if you break me open and peer inside, watch through the cracks between your fingers, dream my dreams at night – if, and if, and if – then you shall learn:
a name for that nuance of desire, that corner where it comingles with pain. That name is yours, and many more – the taste of icicle melt water in April, the sound of fingernails mapping the valleys of my spine, the silent everlasting second when our gazes pass each other in the dark. A moving train with the lover frozen on the platform. An empty jewellery box. My tattered, faded affection, like a picture left too long in the sun.
It was never a thing for the sunlight, this strange replica spun between us – it was a creature of silver and spider webs, one of sunset’s frost, not dawn’s first dew. And so it goes, like an ember silenced at sea. Like a snowflake.
The petal falls.
Author notes
m a c e y m u s e.
A contest entry
- catharsis; round two. by seafoam irises..
2200 points, ended May 22, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest Best Prewrites From April 2009 by amaranthine lover.
1125 points, ended May 29, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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21.1/25
How amazingly beautiful. -
this was really pretty. the whole thing felt soft and vulnerable. bottom line, it was gorgeous and emotional.
OVERALL SCORE: 91/100
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Emotion: 16/20
Spelling and Grammar: 10/10
Effectiveness of Title, Beginning and Ending: 9/10
Personal Opinion: 8/10
Creativity/Originality: 9/10
Relevance to Prompt Given: 10/10
Imagery/Metaphor/Poetic Devices: 10/10
Structure: 5/5
Diction: 5/5
Line-breaking/Flow: 5/5
Impact: 4/5
OVERALL SCORE: 91/100 -
A stunningly beautiful verse dear poet ...the imagery the passion the sensuosity and strength of this loving write is well i am speechless ...
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Very inspiring piece. The flower doesn't fear fading;
The raindrop its rush to the soil. -
Beautifully written prose, it's well paced with imagery, emotion, poetic device and good usage of repetition. Especially liked " Then you shall learn a name for that nuance of desire" ah, poets have forever and a day tried to find that name, the one that ignites the flame. A pure pleasure to read.
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