Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Whales Tap

The river foams surge at sea,
and lift the wings in silver
where creature cried beyond
the whales tap, daring of fables
of black ocean whirling in dance.
Rise to find me above a black spring
where hearts of freedom belt a baritone,
and celebrate this energy under the sun.

Author notes

Prompt: ~ River Dance ~
50wds

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • I was confused on first reading - as I was reading Wales (a principality of the UK - famous for its shoreline and male-voice choirs). Now I see from notes below that you are writing of the sea mammal whale (so perhaps you need to add a couple of h's!). In that context, your fifty words work well and are a fine testament to the scene you witnessed.

    • saddie23
      May 6
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      You know when I wrote this I got brain freeze, so maybe my brain is thaw out lol. Your right their is some "h's" gone. Thank you for pointing that out for me. Saddie23

  • I couldn't believe this was only fifty words since you packed so much imagery and meaning in these few lines. I confess that I am unsure what the title means, but that does not detract from this moving poem. Congratulations on your trophy. Peace, Liz

    • saddie23
      May 5
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      I went to Oakland, CA. and happened to go to the ocean to fish and scuba diving. We spotted two wales about thousand feet from our boat tapping the ocean like they were dancing. This kinda represents the prompt: "River Dance", I was inspired to write. Thank you for congratulating me on my trophy. Saddie23


  • Patpowers silver member
    April 18

    Edit | Reply
    I liked what I read in this. Very moving and quite descriptive...THANKS!


  • Reptile Lady gold member
    April 17

    Edit | Reply
    Truly wonderful
    I love your beauty of words
    that paint the movement
    the energy and the dance to music
    best wishes and thank you for your entry
    Julie

    • saddie23
      April 17
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thank you for the wonderful comment given to my poem. Thank you so much for my trophy. Saddie23


  • maralisa silver member
    April 14
    Edit | Reply
    a great take on the promt good luck in the contestmaralisa

    • saddie23
      April 14
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you

      Thank you for the wonderful comment given to my poem. Saddie23

1 - 9 of 9