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Memories of their death...

The days of life, and a family happy and sad
My life is rather upsetting for the things i wish i had

I will say this once, not repeated again
I will tell you about some people in my family, that made me say Amen

I was but 1 just born in the world, And my second birthday came around
That close to the day,... someone was burried in the ground
My Dad, passed away of a horrible sickness, I do not recall the name of sort, but My Dad left me, he made his deport, Everyday on my Birthday all those cards,... I threw away, they made me remember My dads final day...

Next I was four and my mom had a child, Me was my brother so very small, he died of something that i am yet to forget, His lungs werent developed fully, his death made my mom upset, that painful memory of the person i lost, makes me remember that one desire...

I lived my life, carrying the painfull memories on my back, Now i am thirteen, images of death begin to unpack...

Still thirteen thought my life was going pretty well , until something happened to my mom now i scream "What the hell" THe doctors called in, she was diagnossed with Intestinal cancer afew weeks later some kidney stones... I sit in the hospital, hear my moms groans...

But there is a good side to this tale i tell, My mom is alive she's alive and well, The doctors called back after a few months had passed, they said her cancer was gone, it was gone at last. Inyet the kidney stones are yet to leave, but something still makes me relieved... My mom survived, she didnt leave me...

MY mom, My mom,.... My only Family...
My mom, has had surgery's, Maybe around ten
But now each night i pray for her and it ends with,...

Amen...

The fire within the deapth of my soul, burns with the memories of something i cant control, The death of my family, leaves scars that are unseen, this is the life of a heartbroken teen...

Author notes

A frozen glance,
------> a single tear <------
It's harder than I ever feared
and you were left feeling so alone..
Because these days aren't easy
Like they have been once before
These days aren't easy anymore

A contest entry

What do you think? Do you like this poem?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 20 of 20

  • Acidbath
    June 25

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    lovley story

    i love how u took so much from what i am sure is much more and made it into a work of art that youll be able to keep and reread later in life to see how far youve come this will make you so much stronger in the long run but im sure youve already learned that from being so young and being put through so much already ppl like you need to cary on to help those that cant face it alone your strength can be theres too


  • Fallen-Thumper
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    omg i am so sorry..... im crying now... i am so sorry

    *hugs*

    this is so sad and heartbreaking and moving, i am sorry that this happened....
    i cant say anything about the poem coz im still crying


  • Ebbing.X.Discreetly
    June 9

    Edit | Reply
    This is so heartbreaking. I can definitely relate from my past experiences so I really felt what you were saying and understand you perfectly. It's a very good write -not everyone has the ability to write something like this. I'm so sorry that this has to happen to you and sinceely hope that you'll let go and try move on with your life. Thanks for entering and wish you all the best! =]


  • DesolatELifE
    June 4

    Edit | Reply
    This is at least longer than not very long.

    Yeah, it is sad. Nice job. Full of emotion, and all that. Thanks for entering.

  • musiccraze2009
    May 11

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    This poem takes you and shoves emotion down your throat. I did not like the rhyming so much, I think poem would do better as a free verse but it is very powerful! Thank you very much!

  • Sky Prince Ireland gold member
    May 9

    Edit | Reply
    Good poem. However it does not fit the topic for the contest. I want poems about things you can do or trying to accomplish. This is something more personal than that. Sorry.
    But feel free to enter something else if you want.
    Brian


  • NightshadeNymph
    May 8
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for entering your poem in my contest, however it doesn't quite fit the prompt. Yes, this is a good example of a poem a teenage girl might write, but I wanted something funny, something obviously poking fun at the stereotypical teen girl. Can you try again?


  • Antebellum
    May 6

    Edit | Reply
    awww this is sad.
    My favorite part was
    "The fire within the deapth of my soul, burns with the memories of something i cant control, The death of my family, leaves scars that are unseen, this is the life of a heartbroken teen..."

    thanks for sharing and good luck.

  • Judith Chandler
    May 5
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    I feel sad for you. It's a moving write and thank you for sharing it.


  • spiritraven
    May 5

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    OMG

    Such a young age and so much pain. You have captured it so well in these words. Thank you and good luck in my contest


  • JessicaMarieLewis
    May 5

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    awww.... this is a very good poem and my heart goes out to you. I have a question... did all this really happen to you?


  • Trapped Destruction
    May 1

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    Wow, I do believe that you have been through much more than your youth should have to warrant going through. I hope that you are doing okay with all the pain and burdens that you've had to take on. Good luck.

  • Mercury Rising
    May 1

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    You've been through an awful lot for a young person, and have still managed to turn your pain into a poignant and touching poem. Best of luck in my contest, and thanks for entering.


  • tarcus
    May 1

    Edit | Reply
    There are a few comments on here deriding the fact that after all you have been through you have lacked either the time or the ability to learn how to spell, or write in the one basic language you were brought up with.
    Perhaps I may be wrong in that assumption, if indeed these things are a truthful account of your life so far then a small piece of negative feedback is not about to make you slash your wrists.
    Please for the sanity of others if not for yourself just copy and paste this poem into an email and spell check it, when you have then look to the format and delete the forced rhyme from within then possibly you may have something worthy of the love of your mother.


  • lockdoubt
    April 27

    Edit | Reply
    thanks for entering.

    things to work on: spelling, grammar, incorrect (over)use of the ellipsis (...), forced rhyming (you don't have to rhyme).

    i like the honesty and personality of this write though. it's got potential.


  • Erica Carnea
    April 17
    Edit | Reply
    Thanks For Entering
    This Is Great,
    Love Always xx


  • NickBlaze
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    Typos/spelling errors: "was burried" should be "was buried". "dads final day" should be "dad's final day". Well, actually, all punctuation and apostrophes are missing, as well as some extra spaces. It may have been intended, though, for the POV is a child.

    It is in almost no way abstract, though I could metaphorically relate the death of your father to "hope" and the almost-death of your mother with "happiness". However, it is not abstract.

    The rhyme was simple, but it was fine, and it flowed well. And as much as I hate to admit it, the last line made me chuckle a bit, for it made me think as if all the sorrow in the poem was just in jest. Forgive me if that offends you, as I believe it is actually true. Even so, it does not quite fit in the contest and as a true poem, it is not terribly well-written.


  • XxMoonLiteAngelxX
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    Aww Im so sorry this all happened.
    But Im so glad it worked it
    Awesome poem and thanks so much for entering my contest and good luck!


  • Spiritual Poet gold member
    April 14

    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    I am so glad she is okay. You have had a sad life but you can over come it. This is a touching write. I wish you well in the contest. God bless you, Mark

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