Blue drapes the ceilings
and these lonely walls,
but I won't
take it very long.
I'm breaking through
the brick and bail..
to cut them down,
as they advance,
upon the road
that is my home.
I say to you,
no futile rage
against my will,
would stop
the quills
from end of point,
released from sight
of leather grip
and ancient bow.
Held by hands
that rule the heart,
and tends my fire,
to humble the keeper,
that seeks the torch,
that's passed to me,
to carry for you.
No man I fear.
No weight
nor sweat
nor blood
can quell
my blinding
strength.
Days and weeks
walls whispered....
floors shifted
and shouted
at the windows
and at the doors
to bring light
to those hallowed
halls.
To bring light
to those rooms
of yesterday...
with the joy
of her laughter....
and how I once
loved her.
Now bring song birds
and blue bells to
my endless highway.
I will
walk
and I
will talk
with the spirits
of here
and the
spirits
of now.
I dance
and
I sing
and
I love.
Now.
In a list
A contest entry
- ANYTHING GOES!! PIF by Jade.Butterfly.
2000 points, ended April 23, 48 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ADULT Prewrite Contest! Gold, Silver or Bronze Winning Pieces Only!!! by cybilseyes.
700 points, ended July 9, 28 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 52 of 52
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Captivating
Lovely. Vivid pictures conjured while reading and stirring to the emotions. Enjoyed reading very much.
Bravo,
Justified Inc.
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Magnificent~
walls whispered....
floors shifted
and shouted
at the windows
and at the doors"
How does one describe perfection?
They cannot. Feeble words have to somehow convey
the intended image.
I saw everything so vividly. And it sang to me as a siren
sings her everlasting melody. It will not leave my soul.
And so, perhaps, this is close to the description of
perfection; your poem.
Well well done my new friend ^^
xoxoxoxo
~Atusha~
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Strong message of control and self
Impressive. The overall message is one of inner strength and confidence. The wording /poetic phrases underline the message...clear and concise..uncluttered stanzas ...overall effect is peace , strength...and determination presented well. Kudos
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Another beautiful work from your mind to your hands. Beautiful; just beautiful.
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oh my...this certainly says a lot and so strongly!! i love its attitude and resolve and passion!
No weight
nor sweat
nor blood
can quell
my blinding
strength....
this was my favorite part by far!!!
-
excellent
Memories, especially good ones, even of love relinquished or lost often provide the most powerful, and positive emotions on earth; men build monuments to their love and accomplish amazing things, not the least of which they provide vision and focus of a better, more positive future. It is the future we are coming home to...The future built upon love.
I am grateful for you sharing this vision with us brother.
It gives the rest of us hope. Oh yeah, the poem is special, change nothing.
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excellent complete beauty encapsulated in this masterpiece
bravo
T
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Congratrulations on the Silver Cup!!
Good luck in the new contests!!
-
Wow.....
I don't know what to think. Reminds me of something an ex of mine might say, if he could. Hit a little close to home for me.
I went back and read it aloud. This piece has a great flow and power to it. Quite well done, really.
Sincerely,
~ ~ Janet ~ ~
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Its been a while poe, but you still got it. I appreciated the strength and power of the write. Enfolding the dark and the light and regaining power from pain. Also the flow is something that I would like to note. It was very free towards the end.
Well done, I have missed your work.
Creatress
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Beautifully enveloping.. The pace gallops and flows.. so wonderful! Thank for sahring this!
Best of luck!
xo
Cyb -
great
What I like most about this poem is the phrasing! You reshape images to give it a new twist... there's so many well crafted lines through out, but the opening stanza,
Blue drapes the ceilings
and these lonely walls,
but I won't
take it very long.
really sets us up. I don't know what the context of the poem is, but it doesn't matter. The "feel" of it is so strong that I understand what the character is going through without a concrete set-up. I like that very much... and think sometimes writers try to hard and give us more information than we need.... This piece creates an experience for us that needs no more explanation.
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very well done
now and then you would think that life always had a happy ending. or even love...
very good poem. it got me thinking.
TrueBlueWriter... -
great layout and phrasing
I like your style. The style along with the images has
my heart racing down the path behind you. Good work! -
Sterling stuff
Wow, you sure have a gr8 style and I look forward to reading more from you. How come you haven't penned anything since April??
Thnx too for you wonderful and most encouraging comments on my poem "Aroma of Knowledge" and also for adding me to your favorites. I am indeed most honored.
Hugs and sunny smiles
Marilyn
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heh ... funny I have a poem of the same title. thank you for entering
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I LOVED EVERY WORD, AND I REALLY LIKED THE WAY THIS ONE WAS LAYEDOUT
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I thought it was sad. but well written.
You did a good job.
keep it up -
i was first attracted to the title. a huge doors fan I was intrigued and thought it might have something to do with them. though it does not exactly the need for opening the mind and expanding your awareness is here in your work and that is b=ver doors like.
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Gorgeous write.. I read through all the previous comments.. Sounds like everyone thinks it is about perseverance and strength.. I read it through twice and it seemed to me a form of inflamed revenge.. perhaps I am in a mood but please let me know what your original take was on the emotional context.
XO
Cyb
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Beautiful! Such brillant imagery and depth...the reader can feel all you feel and it is moving and touching, a bit sad yet full of hope of another day...Very nicely done.
Congrat's on the trophy.
mystic
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Congrats Lowell,
It is awonderful piece and you did a wonderful job. -
Lovely write!!!!
What can you say about a poem that speaks volumes?
Keep writing-
Keep writing.
Thanks for this share as well.
Best
Love Peace
campanaro
-
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this definately had an element of old world charm. you give just enough to set the reader on a path to revelation and leave the rest to the imagination. I enjoyed your writing very much. thank you for sharing. keep up the great work. peace to you always in all ways...
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Wow,The imagery explodes from the page!
I could feel the passion in your write .
Inspirational and deep. I felt a sense of longing in this.
Almost made me feel a bit sad i don't know why.
But this grabbed my heart!
An excellent write!
Good luck in contest, Thank you for entering! -
Bravo!
Once again a powerful & magical write Liam! I love the imagery in your writes & how they captivate & flow. I feel the passion, the yearning & sense of loss & the determination to walk on! All the best in the Contest!
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I loved this. To tell you the truth, I clicked on it because Neil Young is my favorite artist of all time, and "Don't Let It Bring You Down" is one of my favorite songs by him. But, back to the poem. Amazing imagery and obvious emotion. This really grasps you and won't let you stop reading until it is done. Nicely written.
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To bring light
to those rooms
of yesterday...
with the joy
of her laughter....
and how I once
loved her.
Oh wow Liam. She loved you too, you know? Bet she still does, in her own way. This poem is nothing short of amazing. Brought me to tears more than once.
Love to you always,
jin
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So well penned
"no Man I fear"and fallowing lines such and excelant work of poetic art as always my brother. this one really kicks a** one of my favs so far. Hats off to you brother. "the Kings to you Bro" from the movie count of monty cristo.
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I loved this. It just calls out to that hidden part inside of myself. I love the way you used short lines to break up the more contemporary flow and it added so much to the way this piece reads. Its just fantastic. Thank you for sharing this piece and thank you for entering my contest. The best of luck to you.
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I winced
...as I read each line, realizing how personal is your pain, your longing, your quest to find the light while not forgetting where you have been to become who you are now. And... because I read a bit of myself here as well.
Well Done!
Write On!
jIM
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Great
Another great write, your work is always wonderful
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A passionate write...so beautiful, L. It has a touch of the old poetry, not in words but in your emotions..The fires of love have not died down in your heart even tho time has passed...Keep your pen dipped in the ink of your heart...It always produces treasures to read, friend...Gypsy
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halleluah!!
wonderful write and written from a wonderful place. i most liked the sixth stanza...Very strong. the ending two were also overwhelming!! this is my FAVORITE of yours to date!!! keep em' coming you irish word guru!!
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Breathtaking!
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Full of inspiration and passion from the first word to your finale..bravo!
Love,
Stacy
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Very captivating I always love reading your work.
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i love your imagery in this poem it makes your love more real in how you have accepted your wondering emotions
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to be lost within the bounds of the rage you feel to love,
to loose,
to defy those that dare come toward you.
for me a deeply emotional read.
so hard to the outer world in
wait of the herds of hurt
but to somewhat come to terms with the past
and melt as one with what we have
to see with a clearer eye
the future
and most importantly
the now
a stunning piece this i must say
i enjoyed the edge of seat read
to elapse to the solitary tears
and the gathered thoughts at the end
sad and sincere x
abigail
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This is amazing, beautiful. There seems a turning point at 'no man I fear', a different feel after. I love the ending couple of stanzas. The past is memory, the future unwritten, now is all we have..
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I don't even know what to say.
My heart beat faster as I read each line, and and I can't explain why, or how, but I felt connected to it, the words you were speaking in this piece seemed to draw me to it, right from the very core of me. I feel like it's IN me.
So distant at times, and yet so powerful at others... a radiant portrayal of inner strength and the will to carry on no matter what happens, beautifully worded and so thoughtfully laid out. The image of blue seems to drape the poem in it's many forms and implications.
The last stanza... so compelling and powerful.
Apart from that, I'm speechless and can only say... never stop writing.
Jess x
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A very lovely poem and you know life happens now and then. -c
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Very cool...although, not quite sure about all the time context, but I like it! Yeah, for spring!!!
love, faith
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Wow...this is how I feel after a long winter of cabin fever!!! Seriously...good stuff here Liam. I love the ending because really the only time we can do anything is "now". Dance and sing and love now dear soul! Woo Hoo!
Pam
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I love the simplicity of the words you've chosen, and the short lines you've used—most of it feels immediate and urgent. (The only exception is the longer lines in the middle stanza, which add texture, and I really like the "days and weeks walls whispered" line.) Great write!
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Lord what a blessing it is when we figure it out...the walls of confinement placed upon us are of our own devising.
To throw the entrapping fear aside...to find the strength to persevere.
To finally understand we must make our own way and begin to revel in what we have,
I have been at the beginning and am finding my towards the end.
excellent write my Brother!
Peace,
Michael
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my endless obsession
for my day in the sun
will be mine.
i love these lines, they speak volumes on their own!
a great journey you have written.
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this feels like a yin yang...
Isn't it true that we all go through these dark times? I think it is wonderful that you wrote about the Light. I like light
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hm this starts out sounding like you might kill yourself and ending up likeyour going to be stronger...
your not going to kill yourself right?
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you already know what i think of this.
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Well well well..
This was very cool, very strong...A voice held away no longer.
im cutting through
the pitch of dark.
"Days and weeks walls whispered..
floors shifted and shouted
at the doors and windows
to bring some light
to the hallowed halls."
Were my favorite lines...To suggest it was something inside of you screaming for the light, and not you yourself...The soul? The craving of what's right? I think so..
I love the ending, because the poem itself to me is rather dark, speaking of what has been...Reflecting..But then there is an inkling of hope mixed with a tidal wave of strength, and in the end, despite the darkness, the reader is dancing, singing, and loving...NOW.
No longer sifting through the darkness....YES~
BLESSINGS BROTHER,
BRANDON
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