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Another Broken Dream!!

Naked branches aspire to embrace fleecy pillows of pure indigo,
Hope secretly buried in a stringy bark,
Tugs at the burning desire, to touch, embrace perfection.

The silhouette of the bare tree marking the Heavens
Unduly perturbed by its failing attempts,
Stands still, beckoning the silence of the night
To lie down under its shade,
As she weaves another impossible dream.

Author notes


9.http://www.freefoto.com/images/15/19/15_19_1---Tree--Sunrise--Northumberland_web.jpg

A contest entry

what do you think??

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 11 of 11
  • XxLuckyxX
    July 14

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    A very deep and truly thought provoking write. Every line seems to make you sit back and thing. A really enjoyable read. Great flow, smooth and easy with a dark undertone. I think you did an outstanding job here. Keep up the wonderful work. I can definitely see why this piece won the gold trophy. Truly deserving.


  • flyfly gold member
    June 3
    Edit | Reply

    Soul stirring

    A lovely poem with lovely emotions, many thanks for sharing this little gem.

  • bebegrl
    May 25
    Edit | Reply
    this is really gud u did a great job in expressing ur true feelings. thx for commenting on my poem!


  • longlife
    May 1
    Edit | Reply
    lovely poem with great imagery.
    Good luck in the contest!

  • thanks AUN!!


  • Aun Ali
    April 22

    Edit | Reply
    I wish all your dreams come true and may the trees of your dream become evergreen just as you wish to see them.

    The use of vocabulary in this piece of art is great and the expression beautiful.

    However I give you a golden charm that some one on this AP gave to me:

    People always say, "God I have great ordeals."

    Why don't they say, "Ordeals I have great God.

    -----
    Thanks a lot for sharing this piece of great work.

  • OurxBeginning
    April 20

    Edit | Reply
    I wanted to thank you for the nice comment you left, and return the favour.

    I think this is really good, I enjoyed the words that you used, and the imagery.. I love nature, so nice thinking, Keep up the great work.


  • crimsondew
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    Aww...such lovely thoughts woven beautifully dear...thoroughly enjoeyd the read!
    Simply love the first line!

    All the best in the contest!


  • longlife
    April 14

    Edit | Reply

    wow

    This is an awesome poem. Great imagery. Great backround of it all. Thank you for this beautiful entry

1 - 11 of 11