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Inner Chat

I'm crying
Why?
Why do these tears fall down my face?

Because someone i was close to died
Was it your fault?
No... I know it wasn't my fault

Did he care about you the same way?
No... He cared for himself and one other
So, why cry?

Did he ever dry your tears?
Yes... he did once
Once?!
How many times did you do that for him?

... All the time
You’re a stupid piece of slime
How could you care so much about him, yet him not care about you?!

That’s by no means far!
You wasted your tears for nothing
You are nothing

Now you are wrong!
I'm worth something
Ha!!

Now you realize this
You’re a little too late
He's already gone

You don't know that!
He could be alive... somewhere
Besides he was on the other day
Did he say “hey?”
On that oh so happy day?

…No, he didn’t
Then again, why care?!
You need to take care of yourself!
And no one else

But I don’t want to be selfish
You’re not selfish if you care about yourself!!
Do you think he would want you to be like this?!
… No
Do you think your mother would be happy if you were like this?!
… Again, no

Then why?!
Why be like this?!
Why put your self through this pain?
… I don’t know
I have an idea
DON’T PUT YOURSELF THROUGH IT!!!



Author notes

Having an internal chat with myself. This is how my mind is all the time.

Don't die live life

R a y n e 1 3 3 1

A contest entry

... don't care just comment

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Cyanide Dreams
    April 18

    Edit | Reply
    Title: 4/5
    Originality: 4/5
    Emotion: 3/5
    Grammar/Spelling: 3/5
    Flow/Structure: 3/5
    Imagery: 2/5
    Metaphor: 7/10
    Memorable: 7/10
    Background: 9/10
    Thinking Effectivness: 7/10
    Overall Use of Poetic Devices: 8/10
    Rules: 9/10
    Overall: 8/10
    Total:74/100

    Overall, this piece didn't really stick out to me. It's not cliche, but it really didn't flow well with everything. I think, that with the use of metaphors you could better this piece. I did like the main idea of this poem though. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


  • Englandgirl2008
    April 13

    Edit | Reply
    wow
    I enjoyed this piece a lot.
    Made me think of a firend
    of mine.......Who passed
    away this morning .

    Thanks for entering and good luck

1 - 5 of 5