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~shOrt changed

offer my two cents
to your money-hungry horde

left feeling short-changed

Author notes

another sad haiku.

more tasty metaphors

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • Yemassee gold member
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    And what is the lesson learned? Keep your two cents because now matter how bad folk need your advice, they'll never thank you for it, only blame you if it fails.

    That is why I have a well of fire, to toss people like that down into...


  • Ethereal One gold member
    April 14
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    This is a sad haiku, but I really like your use of metaphors here.
    I think I know what your words are referring to, and I have felt this way many times when talking to certain people. I am left wondering why I even bothered to open my mouth.

    Jeannette


  • Everyones Dead
    April 13

    Edit | Reply
    Haha. I like the idea, I still hate haiku. It's clever. The alliteration of hungry horde helps the normally choppy-style of haiku. Nice write. I think the reason this packs a subtle punch is that the first and last line make the clever remark complete, while the middle line flows nicely enough to connect them. Well done.