I woke early this morning
Alone in this king sized bed
Where we would wake together, and frolic.
Looking towards the window by the bed
I saw frost on the windowpane.
Though it's late April, the nights are still cold.
Looking out that window
I noticed buds on the trees.
They are fragile,
And easily broken.
Though the windows are closed
I hear songbirds singing,
But they don't move me like they once did.
Nothing moves me, since you've been gone
It doesn't feel like spring
This house is so cold
I miss you
Author notes
word prompt: windowpane Written by andrew houtman
A contest entry
- Word Prompt by BarbedWireButterfly.
1650 points, ended April 27, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Symbolism as a Medium by Hannah Sophia.
750 points, ended May 26, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you honestly think?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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oh my this is a beautiful little piece of art, nicely done
thanks
T
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At first, I didn't like the ending of the poem. I found it a bit harsh and abrupt. But then I realized that's what makes the poem so beautiful. The reader is left with a sense of dissapointment - the same dissapointment which a lonley lover must feel. The ending is coarse and abrupt in a good way - it helps give the poem it's feeling.
I really enjoyed the imagery. The poem was written as if the reader is simply hearing the thoughts of the lonely lover. Quite spectacular. Good write! -
heart breakingly beautiful!!
i feel your loss and pain i love this poem so much and would read it over and over...
i can relate to it...
the hardest thing in the world is to wake up each day with an empty feeling inside of you
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An interesting poem. I found the ending a little to abrupt for the flow of this poem. It also seems a little bit hollow, maybe a tad more description and emotion. If more emotion were added then the ending would fit perfectly. The emotion is strong, but I mean to say that it needs more words to help the reader better understand.
I hope this advice was not too invasive. The poem was very well done and I quiet enjoyed it. Thank you for entering and good luck.
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I love the ending of this poem. It took me by surprise ... great ending. Beautiful, gentle write that I really enjoyed reading, Thank you
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Thanks for your kind words. I've been trying to write more with less, if you know what I mean, and I'm glad you enjoyed the poem like you did
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Very heartbreaking.. " This house is so cold, spoke for the loss in the whole poem.. Wonderful job and good luck..
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This is really well written and incredibly sad
It has a faultless flow to it. It must surely be written from personal experience? I hope you start to feel the Spring soon, my friend. 
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Wow...
This gives me a very sad lonely feeling. It made me shiver! This is fantastic!
Good luck in the contest!
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