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Mesmerized [HM]

Missing image
You move through me... an ocean.
Hold me mesmerized
                    to rise and fall.
                                                                                                                        You are my high tide, darkling wave
rolling luminous under moonlit sky.

Flood into me~ my midnight deity
consume my colors, bared
within this blackest night
                                                                                                                          ... then feel me surge                                                                                         undeniably radiant to
  become your morning star.

I am your lovely Aphrodite
foam born mistress                                                                                                        of hypnotic seas...

enraptured by ebb and flow~

Lap and enfold me- hip to hip,
breath by breath together,
flesh and blood set to drift.                                              
                                                                                                                          We'll persuade our dream
through the waking mist...



Author notes

A study in Black & White [XIII] ~ Image Prompt By: Kosta Trimovsky-A Cliff's View ~ I dunno... I'm just not feelin' it so much these days... but I try!
[even though the contest has ended I still intend to do a rewrite here... if only to please myself.. lol]

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • sunshine.
    June 17
    Edit | Reply
    thought i commented this already, oops! love your writing!


  • JinSays gold member
    April 25

    Edit | Reply
    sigh. Cia, honey you've created something beautiful. I dont have any idea what you're talking about in your AN. Silly, why do we doubt our own capabilities so? I do it too. The writes that get away from me, and detach themselves are the ones that people say are my best. So what does that say about the ones that don't? LOL Anyway, I happen to think it's very lovely, the Aphrodite part I loved, the surety with which you chose your words is just stunning. As I said, silly. This is wonderful.
    Love always,
    Jin


  • Balldinger silver member
    April 15

    Edit | Reply

    salty taste...

    shiny - like an oceanic agate in direct sunlight. dream or not, there is motion and rhythm everytime it is necessary.


  • Amera gold member
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    Absoluty beautiful, original and captivating. I think this poem flows like the tide in the image. Great stuff!

    Love,
    Amera♥


  • DolceVito gold member
    April 14

    Edit | Reply
    WOW, Cia, this is a winner in my book; beautifully expressed, filled with imageries, stirring, sensual, just awesome.


  • tomisb
    April 13
    Edit | Reply
    This is sensuous, delectible, and a delight. Love the use of the ocean and mythological imagery.

    One complaint, if I may, I thought this was a dream and there was no need to persuade them. Perhaps assuage a fear or two. This hit a discordant note with me. Thought I should mention and you could look at it and decide whether I am right or totally disconnected from reality.

    Love,
    Tom B.


    • Ithica silver member
      April 13
      Edit | Reply

      tomisb

      Not just a dream... but also a wet and waking continuation of a dream/fantasy... Aside from that, dreams are about as logical as love is, lol!!!

1 - 7 of 7