In the mist of life
Time slithers by
Dripping morning dew
Of the moments trickling down
On the pavement of life
Echoes of winds blowing
Are heard from a far
Calling out for the seasons
Playing hide & seek within open skies
Hopping through the clouds
Angels of yesterdays
Fluttering their wings of memories
Bring now to its bended knees
Sitting at the edge of today
Waiting for the tomorrow to come
As moonlit night mellows the crimson fire for the evening
A whisper from behind touches my ears
- Sound of music plays
As hope dances to the tunes of faith
A kindled whisper of another morning rise
Breaks the silence of the night
Echoing in the valley of concrete jungle
The words of another day gone by
For another day to come by
Now smiles at the sunset
Under the skies of shining moon light
…a whisper in the ears of now
From the pastures of yesterday
Paints a smile on today
As time lights the flickering candle of tomorrow
In the middle of paved lands
Where life awaits to happen again
…in the line pain, frustrations & failures
Are on the standby
Author notes
Option# 6 - Whisper by Minoo Malik
In a list
A contest entry
- Word Prompt by BarbedWireButterfly.
1650 points, ended April 27, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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You portrayed your idea very well. The imagery is very good. I do have on suggestion though. In this line;
As moonlit night mellows the crimson fire for the night
You repeated night twice, I know it's awfully picky and it won't affect how I judge your poem of course. I would substitute one of the words with evening, I think it will help the flow of that stanza.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. -
Excellent
i really connected with this poem, very descriptive and eloquent style!
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Your talent shines through in this poem. I don't know the judge all that much, but I have to admit, you have a very high chance of winning.
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i like the lines ...
"Hopping through the clouds
Angels of yesterdays
Fluttering their wings of memories
Bring now to its bended knees
Sitting at the edge of today
Waiting for the tomorrow to come
As moonlit night mellows the crimson fire for the night
A whisper from behind touches my ears
- Sound of music plays
As hope dances to the tunes of faith
A kindled whisper of another morning rise
Breaks the silence of the night
Echoing in the valley of concrete jungle
The words of another day gone by
For another day to come by
Now smiles at the sunset
Under the skies of shining moon light
…a whisper in the ears of now
From the pastures of yesterday
Paints a sm "
good write...
keep on writing -
This was an amazing peom.... You are verry talented and i loved this peom. Thank you for wrtitting it.
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well written
Your poem is very descriptive, and peaceful to read. I picutre someone sitting in the middle of nature listening to the wind, as if it is "whispering" words of advice...?
The only suggestion i have is:
use punctuations so the reader might know where to pause.This will make it so someone who has never heard you read your poem can read it just as you might read it.
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this could be about love or life.
I really enjoyed this. It flowed really smoothly almost sung to me & made me think of trees in the wind
best of luck in comp
Mia
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great writing! great job! thanks for sharing. keep up the awesome writing. peace to YOU always in ALL ways...
-Kendal
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