The brush slid across the snare
and the hiss followed the beat
the bass thump-thumped so softly
the room went quieter still
just to wait to hear her
open lips and speak low
she reached somewhere to Mississippi
for some heavy delta air, then came up river
to the honk-tonk towns, picked up some
rhythm there; then somewhere round midnight
when only those who wanted it were here
she closed her eyes, and let us all in
she slowly rose from her chair
and let the good times flow
like the muddy river all day long
let the bad times go; and the moon
came low to smile like the
night had no more reason
to be...than the sway of her hips
and this melody.
In a list
A contest entry
- Enter your best napomo poem and the winner gets one month gold membership! by Kari.
1200 points, ended June 5, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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beautiful, sultry southern late-night songbird journey. Outstanding detailing of her 'gathering' of "heavy delta air," "honk[y]-tonk town,,,rhythm," and "flow like the muddy river all day long." Brilliant "the moon came low to smile like the night had no more reason to be...than the sway of her hips and this melody."
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congradulations on the Greenie
oh I just hear the soft rythmic beat, as jazz floats upon the evening air, intoxicating everything it touches, oh I do so like this one,
and let the good times flow
like the muddy river all day long
let the bad times go; and the moon
came low to smile like the
night had no more reason
to be...than the sway of her hips
and this melody.
oh yes I do love this so!
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I really like the flow and wording in this piece. You did very well.
Thanks for your entry
Kari -
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Thank you for your comments and the honor of the green cup...PK
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Incredible write. The flow and rythem of the poem captured me and took me on the journey. Thank you for your captivating entry!
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I was there!!! Your words took my there and held me captivated by your magic and her melody!! So gorgeous!!! Very well done and thank you for your entry!
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Such a stunning poem PK. You made her and the music come alive in this!
Love it!
Thanks for this entry
Gaylene
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... Cool ...
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Again you painted a wonderful picture with your words. Blues is all over the page, a poem rhythmically written
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thank you Mari-
There is a rhythm, was in my thoughts then...glad you could see...Thanks for all...h...
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This one was really singing from her soul... I love how before approaching the stage, she made a lifetime's journey in that one night, for that one audience and that one moon. This is what music should be...a NECESSARY expression of our experiences. Necessary music is the kind that touches others the way hers did. It is a communion for those who care to share a sixth sense.
You captured time and place here so perfectly, and though it takes skillful word economy, it seems so effortless and natural here.
The song, and the poem commemorating it were special treasures worth waiting for.
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Sound rises from the page...
alive and visual.
Spectacular!
M-C
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this poem nestles up against the soul like the soft murmur of a slow river... beautiful and full of soul. you took me back to the Mississippi with this one.
~ Nicolette
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if the feeling of a live singing of a song could be captured in a poem, I think this would be it. It was full of soul, and discovery. I enjoyed it anyways.
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