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Grounded Eagle

Goodbye
Numb desires
Bronze Eagle break free
Do not succumb to misery
Long to burn the pages of your prison
Shadow of your majestic self
Who was fiery flames
Burn aches away
Goodbye

A contest entry

I appreciate all criticisms. Please keep them constructive though.

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Sheilasbabygal4life gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    Short and beautifully written. I enjoyed reading this. It was good. Keep up the good work. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest.


  • pain is love.
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    I love the flow of this piece. So few words and so much said. I loved the emotion. Thank you for entry in my contest!


  • Jepardy
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    I love the rhythm and the style of this piece. Very unique. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.


  • Kevin Moderators member
    April 24

    Edit | Reply
    why is 'eagle' capitalized?

    long to burn - burn it! make it active!

    who was firey flames, doesnt flow quite irght. Shadow of your fiery self?


  • melmo
    April 22
    Edit | Reply
    very beautiful nice job


  • Viyanna Rosemarie silver member
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    a good write from you. i wish you well in these contests that yo uhave entered and am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie


  • HereComesTheSun
    April 16

    Edit | Reply
    i loved the style of this poem and how well it was written and how it seemed each word was written and picked out for its best possible place and you did an awesome job with this. great work and thanks for entering


  • Captain Blackthatch
    April 16
    Edit | Reply
    ‘tis beyond doubt ye have written a good, grande piece of litteryture ‘ere. . I’ll gamble ye be right proud. Good-day to ye an’ all me dooties to ye. Ye have a gem ‘ere, I would wager a handsome venture that by all that is great n’ good that ye be a damn fine poet, arrgh.


  • maralisa silver member
    April 13
    Edit | Reply
    aw this is a wnoderful write good luck in the contestmaralisa


  • KatherineAnne
    April 13

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. A great write.

    "Do not succumb to misery
    Long to burn the pages of your prison
    Shadow of your majestic self
    Who was fiery flames
    Burn aches away"

    Good luck in your contest (:

1 - 11 of 11