Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Chalkboard Screeches

Chalky fingertips gracefully glide along a chalkboard
Nails colored neon red are a torture to students

 

The poignant, strident shriek reverberates off the walls,
recruiting attention in a most harsh manner

 

Involunatry shivers cause chills to manifest on the skin

Tremors stream down the body from head to toe like an angry river

 

The monotonous humdrum of sreeches consumes every thought  

Goosebumps erupt on arms like miniature volcanoes

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

I choose the sreeching of nails against a chalkboard...
ah great i'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it
lol

username: p o e t 3 6 0
"Don't die live life"

8/100

A contest entry

What do you think? what are your favorite/least favorite parts?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Cyanide Dreams
    May 6
    Edit | Reply

    93

    Title: 9/10
    Originality: 9/10
    Emotion: 8/10
    Grammar/Spelling: 10/10
    Flow/Structure: 10/10
    Imagery: 10/10
    Overall Use of Poetic Devices: 9/10
    Reaction: 9/10
    Rules: 10/10
    Overall: 9/10
    Totaling: 93/100

    Wow, this was intense. Insanely dark and said so much in so little words. I really liked where you took this. Your word choice is really good and I really liked the imagery in this piece. Everything just played out in front of me like a play. Great job on this piece and good luck in the contest.

    Josh

  • Cyanide Dreams
    May 6

    Edit | Reply

    93

    Title: 9/10
    Originality: 9/10
    Emotion: 8/10
    Grammar/Spelling: 10/10
    Flow/Structure: 10/10
    Imagery: 10/10
    Overall Use of Poetic Devices: 9/10
    Reaction: 9/10
    Rules: 10/10
    Overall: 9/10
    Totaling: 93/100

    Wow, this was intense. Insanely dark and said so much in so little words. I really liked where you took this. Your word choice is really good and I really liked the imagery in this piece. Everything just played out in front of me like a play. Great job on this piece and good luck in the contest.

    Josh


  • Shantti silver member
    April 30

    Edit | Reply
    Reminds me of a class I had in tenth grade. Yeah, the teacher kicked her out lol You'll probably get to experiance that AT LEAST once more before you graduate collage
    I love your descriptives here! Totally brings back the teeth grinding, nail sliding down a board in the type of tone that makes you want to go deaf instead of hear it again type of thing.
    Write on!


  • Englandgirl2008
    April 23
    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this one
    thanks for entering

  • Jocelyn Davis
    April 18

    Edit | Reply
    And I got goosebumps just reading the title. It took me at least five tries to work up the nerve to read the poem-- and I still was barely able to get through it.

    Horrendous. (which means you did a really good job.) Thank you for entering.


    • poet360
      April 18
      Edit | Reply
      lol ya i had a hard time writing it for that reason.
      ugh just thinking about it gives me goosebumps.


  • soccrchic6
    April 17
    Edit | Reply

    Shudder inticing!

    brrrr this made me shiver
    great write!


  • AliceinPoetryLand gold member
    April 13

    Edit | Reply
    Oh this has such excellent imagery! You certainly have shown what effect this sound has and I agree. I love the part about goosebumps erupting like mini volcanoes.
    A good poem.
    All the best with this
    gaylene


  • Lillianne Grace
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    Aww....this made me cringe. I almost couldn't keep reading it your imagery was so vivid! It definately gave me goosebumps! Good luck in the contest!

1 - 10 of 10