The sun was warm and hazy
as I lay on the beach
My mind was feeling lazy
as thoughts flew out of reach.
I gazed across the ocean
and wished that I could fly
To leave behind emotion
and soar towards the sky
I closed my mind and drifted
within a soft cocoon
the hands of time were lifted
to take me to the moon.
I plucked a silver feather
and held it in my hand
I flicked away bad weather
just like a grain of sand.
No more ingrained emotion
of why, or who or when
the feather swept the ocean
then turned into my pen.
A contest entry
- B-WOW, Best Write of the Week, with aboomer, Starz of Heaven and Islekine by islekine.
700 points, ended April 14, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
-
Lovely...
Twenty lines of lovely rhythm and singing voice made this a poetic live flower diffusing scent of art and beauty.
The closing stanza was pure "AU-Bullion"... (LOL)
for the coffer of the readers' mind, and for any banker that wants to be richer.
In admiration,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU

-
such a beautiful depiction of peace. The beach, the suns rays, time melting away. I loved the imagery and metaphors. wonderful write!! a piece ill surely remember!!
<3 mandy

-
Light and airy made my day I loved this.


-
-
Thankyou.I appreciate your comments, Ros
-
-
Aloha and Mahalo for such
a great entry! I agree with aboomer...wording, imagery, rhyme...all well penned! Thanks for supporting our contests! Best wishes now and always...Write on!
Hope to see you again and again!

-
-
Thankyou
-
-
Lovely!
Beautiful wording, images, rhyme - very nicely done. I enjoyed this.
thank you for your entry
best wishes
-
-
Many thanks
-
-
Superb Plus
A very fine write, indeed. Imagery; rhythm, and rhyme are just fine. Thanks for sharing this one with us.
-
-
Thankyou for your comments.I appreciate your imput, Ros
-
-
This is a lovey write full of imagery. The rhyming was natural and very suited to the theme of the poem. Rhythmic.

Good luck in the contest!
~Sparrow -
-
Thankyou
-
-
wow nice write...
i liek the lines...
"I gazed across the ocean
and wished that I could fly
To leave behind emotion
and soar towards the sky
I closed my mind and drifted
within a soft cocoon
the hands of time were lifted
to take me to the moon.
I plucked a silver feather
and held it in my hand
I flicked away bad weather
just like a grain of sand."
keep writing =)
-
Hi there first off thank you for coming out in support of our contest. This is a relaxing piece to read I loved it from the first line to the last a little escape for me best to you in our contest be well.
-
-
Thankyou so much.So pleased you enjoyed, Ros
-
1 - 15 of 15









