i get mixed up between my
gut feeling,
paranoia
and sometimes
..butterflies.
but when i think of us
i'm almost sure it's my gut feeling
telling me to leave.
but thats when the paranoia kicks in.
fuck,
why can't there ever be an easy way out?
i'm almost sure that it tells me
that we're not gonna end up anywhere.
that we aren't right.
but in your arms,
it feels right.
but maybe thats the butterflies.
Author notes
I keep writing this poem in other words over and over again. This it what I came up with. This is what feels right and true. To me atleast. Please give C/C.
A contest entry
- I Love You And Goodbye by RawrSmileBabyPlz.
400 points, ended April 22, 143 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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"i'm almost sure that it tells me
that we're not gonna end up anywhere.
that we aren't right.
but in your arms,
it feels right." that is my favorite part of the poem. This piece of poetry is stunning and captivating, truly remarkable. There is so much feeling and emotion pored into each line and every single word; makes you think, I love when poetry makes you think that’s the best part about poetry the thought and feeling lingering in your head after words see now you know you did something right I’m ranting aren’t I? I just wanted you to know that I really enjoyed this write keep up writing well penned literature bravo! You should be proud. -
Love can sometimes be a jumbled mess. I like how you lay out gut feelings, paranoia and butterflies within the piece. I think you've got a great piece here. My only criticism would be the use of the 'f' word. Sometimes it works by giving a dramatic flare, but in this case I don't think it adds to the piece. I also love how you end it, 'but maybe that's the butterflies'. Very well done.
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Thanks for your comment
. As for swearing.. while I wrote it I just wanted to scream out F*** over and over. But I'm glad you like it and thanks again for your comment.
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