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Sucking

sucking on purple
essence of flower brings forth
promise of honey

flight from plant to plant
with pollen on its body
nectar is its draw







Author notes

Never got stung, but I sure love honey!

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • NickBlaze
    April 29

    Edit | Reply
    Out of the winners of this contest, this is clearly the best. The only line I have a problem with is "with pollen sticking to bod" which seems forced to fit the 7 syllable format. A suggestion for revision, if you want, "with pollen on its body". It had the traditional 5-7-5 and the traditional intents, which made it very good and well penned.


    • Kathleen a Nazarene
      April 30
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks friend!

      Wasn't meaning to force anything...just trying to be mod! I like your suggestion.


  • Swan song gold member
    April 29
    Edit | Reply
    I think your first haiku was very good


  • Draig aine gold member
    April 12
    Edit | Reply

    very cool write

    • Kathleen a Nazarene
      April 12
      Edit | Reply

      I saw

      this contest & put this together when I was very so I wasn't sure about this. Thanks for letting me know this isn't a dud!

1 - 6 of 6