She sat there,
phone to her ear,
fingers to the keys.
So much to say,
no words to express it with.
So much laid on her heart at once,
that there was no string of words of sense,
that could possible say it all.
Saying only part,
would make it meaningless.
Saying it all,
was impossible.
So there she sat,
phone to her ear,
fingers on the keys.
Speechless.
A contest entry
- for my favorites only---ok now its for everyone by AquariusAngel.
800 points, ended August 26, 78 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
this is for someone special so I'd appreciate some constructive criticism
Comments
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Bravo!
Like your presentation of this. I felt as if I were watching the scene unfold. Just a note: when you end a line & begin the next without a cap a continued line is seen & a comma is unnecessary, as is a period at the end of a line, the next line being made obvious with a Cap! Hope you could follow me here. Let me give you an example.
So there she sat
phone to her ear
fingers on the keys
Speechless.....[added the periods for emphasis...they're not really needed!] BTW...I'd drop the 'So'
All the best dear young poetess...
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I'm not sure that any change should be made. i like it just the way it is
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>.>
ending can be better, overall full of emotion and touches home, wondeeful
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