The obsession rules, gone is all free will,
yet something deep inside is fighting still.
Denial is strong, a tough nut to crack,
emotion of soul gone, an utter lack,
a heart beating empty, hopeless and chill.
Satan's hand is out, time to pay the bill,
ruling your life, no longer a thrill.
It's way too late, you cannot go back,
the obsession rules.
Depression sets it, run through the mill,
choking on life's often bitter pill.
Mood is somber, deadly deepest black,
finding yourself living in a shack,
it's enough to make a sane man kill.
The obsession rules.
Author notes
Griswold/ Recovery
Rondeau
A Rondeau is a French form, 15 lines long, consisting of three stanzas: a quintet, a quatrain, and a
sestet with a rhyme scheme as follows: aabba aabR aabbaR. Lines 9 and 15 are short - a
refrain (R) consisting of a phrase taken from line one. The other lines are longer (but all of the
same metrical length).
A contest entry
- Rondeaux, s’il vous plaît by Peripatetic.
1500 points, ended November 24, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Really, give me your opinion!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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A person may come to a place by a path of his own choosing, but with a momentum he couldn't control. What to do then when the bottom is reached?
"Satan's hand is out, time to pay the bill,"
But the poem does not conclude that the devil has anything coming due, although I'm sure he had a part in arranging the trip. Instead, we see a certain angry resistance however futile against obsessions's rule. Somebody's gonna pay and be paid. The penultimate line just makes us wonder who and in what currency.
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Very interesting and challenging: unforced, graceful rhyme. I love the way you handled the caesuras!
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Mature treatment of a serious theme - plus you've handled the form very well.
Good one,
Bill
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'Mood is somber' which fits well with this form, I've found. Good job.
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An excellent write--well written with flawless flow to the unforced rhyming verse--Thought provoking content--Very Well Done!
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Crap another form to conquer ... I think I'm living in a shack. I know I have an obsession ... not a drug but a person which I think is worse. Don't mind me rambling ... just adding points
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*looks around*
s Now come along SON and get your piece in..
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Good luck
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