Haunted Alice
Uncanny sounds
The night is so long
As Alice haunts cemetery grounds
Her lover left her heartbroken
Shattered
Just another discarded lover
Her heart, bruised, and battered
Now in death
Alice grins so wicked
And as she waits
Until his time arrives
She seethes with hatred
And haunted eyes
She will make him suffer
Make him pay
Flirting with her affections
He will rue the day
For Alice,poor dead Alice
She walks alone
Alone she will stay
But when his time comes
She will rise again from her grave
Alice will show him the meaning of fright
At the stroke of twelve midnight
But I will haunt you forever
Tis true aye,
Your friends will be terrified
To Go Ask Alice
Why,
Her lover had to die?
Author notes
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Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Well done!! I like that he will get his! You have some great lines here that others have highlighted, and I agree! Great writing and terrific take on the prompt. Good to see you writing!
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haunting words
A wicked write for sure. I like the fact that Alice is going to get even in the end:
"She will make him suffer
Make him pay
Flirting with her affections
He will rue the day"
Thank you for entering this contest, and good luck.
Jeannette
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Very haunting!
Wonderful write, great imagery and flow throughout this piece!
Marvelous job, and best of luck!
♥ Kate
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Good story and very scary at times I will admit. You certainly caught my attention!
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Story within a poem... love the tale...! Very creative and spell binding...
becca
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EEEERRRRRIIIIIEEEEEEE!!
Ooooooooooohhhhhh....so creepy! Sis, you did a fantastic job with this one! Love the title! Even the headstone has "Alice" written on it! It's almost midnight as I'm reading your deliciously haunting tale of a heartbroken woman who seeks revenge against the lover who used her. I'm waiting for the stroke of midnight now, and half expect to see Alice walk through my door, moaning in sorrow, but with hatred in her heart...okay, must shake off the goosebumps...so, here, as requested, is some constructive criticism: "cemetary" should be "cemetery"; "discard" should be "discarded" in the second stanza...see, only a couple of minor corrections. Brava, Susan! I love this darker side of yours
Linda
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very nice work the flow is so nice i loce it keep up the great work....
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Very deep and erie piece. Nice poetic flow that gives this picture life. You went beyond what we see and gave us a glimpse of inside. Written in suvh a way that the suspense builds as we read.
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I really enjoy reading poems like this sis. They give me the perfect tingle!!! But this one, gave me more chills than tingles!
Good luck in the contest.
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I don't know, personally, I feel "hooray for Alice!" somewhere there will be justice! Hooray for the ghost!
good luck in the contest! I adore the title too.
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WOW!!! This is such a haunting write. I loved it, sis.
Wonderful~~~Best of luck in the contest.
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HO HO HO... did you know... I LOVE graveyard poems and yours is really a GOOD ONE!
WOWZER! That's tellin' him. 
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Your poem chilled me to the bone, Sis. You have given "Go Ask Alice" a whole new meaning! Haunting and sinister, your words would terrify the man for whom they're intended.
Love ya!
♥ Maureen
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a wonderful write so full of deep
ness throughout good luck in the contestmaralisa
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Holy cow, this one actually gave me chills.. Did you write this based off of a book or is it an idea you had? It is awesome!
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sad and so taunting, thank you for sharing, good luck...MM
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Wonderful
Aww, this is great. A terrific write. Best of luck in the contest.
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shows your versatility, from the sweet and innocent to delightfully haunting. it tells a tell of fright without the gore.. i like when you show the different sides of you. my best to you in the contest.
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Very haunting Sis, well done.
Wonderful....Best wishes in the contest
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