Stare at the bloody mess below that you caused
My friends are no more; you forced them into hiding
Your sadistic smile brings rage into my heart and eyes
Those times you said you "I love you" were vindictive lies
Laugh at the tears I cry and spit at the words I speak
The crimson fury lights my eyes at the inflicted pain
Look at all this! people with once happy minds are poisoned!
A heartless fiend you are; leave the innocent alone!
Prey upon others like us, who were stupid enough to care
I hope that the damage you inflicted was worth this trouble
My heart is blackened and ripped; my soul has eternally vanished
Revenge will be sought; no one cares about your worthless apologies
I am done...my friends are done...your time will come one day soon I hope
Your mind will turn in on itself, your cheatin' heart will die from the inside out
Forever you'll be alone, our retribution for the fiery tortures; it's not enough
Cross me once, it's shame on me. If you cross me again...you'd better run.
Author notes
Shatter My Soul, Let My Heart Ache
- the power of darkness group list • next in list
- Individual Poets group list • next in list
A contest entry
- The Passions of the Heart (Hate, Envy, and Jealousy contest) by MYsecondchance.
1100 points, ended June 27, 28 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your Best Revenge Poems. Give me what you got! by Emerald Rain.
590 points, ended June 30, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prompt: Prewrites II. by Manda Kathryn.
400 points, ended September 22, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
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Thank You for Your Entry ~
I adore dark writes and this poem reminds me why -
the flow is strong as the pain is felt within the ink,
locking me in and making my heart ache as though
I was the one being hurt again
Excellent poem 
Congratulations on the Gold and Bronze
Best of Luck
♥
Stay safe
~Manda
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thanks! glad you liked it!
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wow very impressive work! cross me once shame on me, cross me twice you better run.(lol) i know thats right
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thank you! glad you liked it!
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Great work! I'm impressed
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thanks!
I'm glad you liked it.
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this is stunning.
thanks for sharing such a great write.
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thank you! I'm glad you liked it!
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awesome, venomous, a great read, thank you for entering
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lol thanks. ;d I"m glad you liked it.
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I liked this. Your emotions of revenge and hate are strong in this. In the first stanza, I loved the last line. Very strong imagery in that. I think though, that this could use more line seperation, especially in the last stanza. Great job though, and good luck in the contest.
josh
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"Cross me again, you'd better run." Totally ties it all together. That ending rlly was the deal closer. Nice job with the emotion here
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lol thanks! I"m glad you liked it. thank you for the comment!
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I feel as if I've read this before; and I know I've commented...hm. Oh well.
Maybe Im just being senile.
Anyway. Very nice poem. I love how much emotion you put behind this. Thank-you very much for entering my contest. -
Fearsome
Venom is clear throughout.It is deep,cutting,raw.So well constructed,so expertly paced.Amaing art work. -
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thanks! I'm glad you liked this.
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I liked how you did this. well done, thank you for entering.
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thanks! I'm glad you liked this. thanks for commenting!
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wow this is really good thank you so much for entering and good luck!
-♥Amy♥ -
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thanks for the comment sis! I'm glad you liked this.
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I really enjoyed reading this, loved the emotions expressed and the 'fuck you' attitude it has...
''Laugh at the tears I cry and spit at the words I speak
The crimson fury lights my eyes at the inflicted pain
Look at all this! people with once happy minds are poisoned!
A heartless fiend you are; leave the innocent alone!''
these lines are just fantastic, they flow wonderfully...
take care
Suza
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thanks!
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I'd say i like this one a lot because that is how I feel. He caused my friends to abondon me and then he left me for dead. you have a tallent for revenge. I hope you keep it up.
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thanks! I'm glad you liked it. The only thing I hope, is that he don't come crawling back to me again.
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well, okay. that was an interesting poem. i like the last line, you show a side of vengeance. thanks for entering
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thanks!
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Hell hath no fury like [you]!
"Cross me once, it's shame on me. If you cross me again...you'd better run."
A very, very powerful and effective ending. I think anyone who read this would sit in a stunned fashion as I am- which is exactly what I asked you to do. Amazing, amazing. -
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thanks!
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Mainly freewrite yet it flew so well! It's very good, but you know, if you changed a couple of the words it could be a war poem! Very well written, I can feel the passion as if I'm living it. Bravo Bravo! Or is it Brava? Can't tell with this user hidden thing...
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thank you!
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*whistles to himself*
damn this was so powerful, amazing work and poem you crafted.
I througly enjoyed reading this. -
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thank you! i'm glad you liked it!
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Rage and passion, pain and hope are scrambled in this wonderful piece. It makes sense. All these feelings have the same source of energy.
Great poem, well done.
Thank you for entering, good luck!
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thanks!
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Anger is certainly pouring off this, it's a good write, something that I can relate to, it's great, keep up the good work and good luck! ^_^
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glad you liked it!
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whoa violent much? jk i like how you to the theme in your own direction slightly different from the rest but still reaping the same pain
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lol thanks. glad you liked it
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Wow, great emotion invoked in this write!
Wonderful job here, the words are biting. Also, great imagery and flow here. Bravo
♥ Kate -
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thanks!
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I really like it. It is very true sometimes.
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thank you!
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Fury and retribution, the tainted hope of depression. Thanks for entering.
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good write thanks for entering and good luck in the contest
"Prey upon others like us, who were stupid enough to care
I hope that the damage you inflicted was worth this trouble
My heart is blackened and ripped; my soul has eternally vanished
Revenge will be sought; no one cares about your worthless apologies" -
anger for the people who hurt ones we care for, i can feel the anger, good write & good luck with the contests.
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I can feel your anger, it's terrible thing to watch when the people we care about have been hurt my somebody. I can also feel your hate for this person, the person who has caused your friends misery. Thanks for sharing. And thanks for entering my contest x
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