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Simplicity

 

 

 

While dreaming of her future life
she sits alone the bride to be
tomorrow she will be a wife
for all to see

Her dress is hanging by her side
with Grandma痴 veil upon her knee
but in her heart the pain she値l hide
so none may see

She hoped to have a life of bliss
their time together wild and free
a pact they sealed with just one kiss
no-one could see

Her love was taken long ago
he left her standing on the quay
their love had died, no more to grow
washed out to sea

She locks away things that have passed
his face is just a memory
she knew their love would never last
no tears they値l see

Tomorrow is her wedding day
a new love waits to turn the key
to chase away the clouds of grey
hearts filled with glee

They say their vows, he値l take her hand
they値l seal their oath beneath the tree
together, man and wife they値l stand
simplicity

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Prompt from Cricketjeff ... thank you

In a list

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Comments

1 - 33 of 33

  • Nickelspring gold member
    August 21

    Edit | Reply
    Lovely, hiding her pain in her heart, but with hope for a new love.
    Beautiful~
    K

  • Great! This poem is easily related to, the layout is wonderful, the emotion is strong, the imagery and word choice phenomenal, and the entire poem just amazing! The title is very good and I love the repetition. If I were you, I would try to write a series of poems with one word titles like this that can be easily related too...that could make one hot seller some day! Great poem and very good job!


  • gwendoline
    June 17

    Edit | Reply
    That was excellent - the structure, the sentiment, and it was produced such a vivid image in my mind. Wonderful.Gwen x


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      June 17
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and leaving a great comment, I'm so glad you enjoyed it ... Sue

  • Wonderful poem. Great structure, rhythm and rhyme with a story to tell. The language is straightforward, simplicity itself. No need to gussy this up.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      June 14
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for your wonderful comment, I am so glad you enjoyed reading my poem.

      Sue


  • eastwind32
    June 13
    Edit | Reply

    Emotional

    Tearful and cheerful. You've set together a hard combination in a wonderful way.

  • very beautiful.

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      June 13
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks for reading and leaving a comment, I appreciate both.

      Sue


  • robnj silver member
    June 12
    Edit | Reply

    good stuff!


  • Raspy
    June 12

    Edit | Reply

    Beautifuly Sad

    Truly well written. I enjoyed the rhyme and flow,and felt the emotions this poem evoked.
    Nice write!
    S.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      June 12
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you for reading and for your comment, both are greatly appreciated ... Sue


  • Pid
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    I can take this one way or another, but i relate it to myself and some thoughts i'm having at the moment, and it makles me smile, smile, and then smile some more as i remeber someone i loved a long time ago.
    Thank you.


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      June 12
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks for such a nice comment, I'm so glad it made you smile and some

      Sue
      x


  • StarrieNacht
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    It's a piece that while reading and even after done reading the reader is smiling as an end result.

    Everyone believes in new beginnings. A very hopefully and beautifully put together write!


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      June 12
      Edit | Reply
      I'm very happy this left you smiling, many thanks for reading and leaving a comment.

      Sue


  • Azgar
    June 4
    Edit | Reply


  • Dixie Dawn gold member
    June 3

    Edit | Reply
    I love it! Feel like it was written for me you write beautifully.

    • Many thanks for reading and leaving a comment. I've very happy you enjoyed the poem.

      Sue


  • hawkeslake gold member
    April 12

    Edit | Reply
    Romantic in the truest sense, joy and pain combined, memories, and looking to the future, a complex poem with beautiful form. Enjoyed this very much, Sue!


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      April 13
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks Lita I appreciate your comment and I'm glad you enjoyed the poem.

      Sue


  • arafura gold member
    April 11
    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully written!

  • Very tender and sweet. I enjoyed this one alot. Great job. Keep up the good work.

    Mike

    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      April 13
      Edit | Reply
      Many thanks for your comment Mike, I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

      Sue x


  • Legend silver member
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    No way will this marriage last.I think these two line say it all

    but in her heart the pain she’ll hide
    so none may see

    This is a wonderful form that lends itself well to this story I love it.( did i expect to do anything less)

    Excellent


    • Sue Cardwell gold member
      April 11
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Legend for your very kind words, I always appreciate you reading.

      Sue x


  • cricketjeff gold member
    April 11

    Edit | Reply
    Beautifully done, love the monorhymed "b" lines and the repeat rhymes in the close of the first stanzas. The story is told with lovely simplicity.

    Great stuff



    Jeff

1 - 33 of 33