I can hear the rustle of leaves
sense the rain's wish to see me
trees calling me
know that silence is here for me
know that i can't mark
this in my heart
flown my years past
but heard of this before
another year:blow out candles
day is for me
my family
my friends
can try to harness the feeling
mind-snap a picture together
that lasts a day
lives in trace memory
of leftover cake
presents
are so full of their minds
can hear the silence
and it talks to me
wonder what next year will tell me
when I was young
what did I wish for me
when I was young
we go and play outside
basketball in the rain
did the forests:hear me
Author notes
Prompts:
Write something about nature.
Write something about infinite love.
Write something about death and time.
Write something including all of the senses.
Write something about birthdays in general.
A contest entry
- they say it's your birthday, well it's my birthday too yeah by And Hyetal.
400 points, ended May 15, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think?
Comments
-
Nice little poem, I would recommend formatting it further for this contest though, it has potential but seems to me to be a little jumbled and rushed.
"i can hear the day there is family and my friends
who are there on my birthday "
Above line, ask yourself "does this strengthen my poem, or weaken it? How could I improve it? Revise your words but keep the meaning the same, i think you will find this poem could increase its chance of winning.
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