Can't help them.

I lay here thinking stupid thoughts,
I keep thinking and thinking until my stomach turns with knots.
All my mistakes I've fucking made,.
I want gone out of my brain... but they don't even fade.
All the scars on my arms I wish could dissapear,
I look at them and what falls from my eye? A tear.
This cigarette smoke inhales and goes to my lungs to make them black,
I wish I could hide away in a little shack.
I wouldn't bother anyone.. I'd be alone,
All the friends I used to have never call my phone.
I'm so skinny now .. I don't even look like me,
Sometimes all I wish is just to be free.
I haven't cut or burned in a while... But I think about it alot,
I could cut away the pain and burn it away and rot.
It would bleed and bleed and burn and bleed,
It used to be all I'd ever need.
But I have sorrow in my heart filled with regret,
I'm sorry to everyone for all my stupid shit.
I don't mean to hurt anyone.. I do it without thinking at all,
Sometimes I feel like giving up and taking a bad fall.
Or somtimes I cry and wonder why.
Or sometimes I scream and go to sleep to escape, to dream.
I can't help them.... I can't help anyone else.......
Until I really help myself.