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On The Coldest Night,

You walk up all cocky
pretend we are old friends
but I've never met you

stupid questions
start conversations so
we walk along streets together

going everywhere and nowhere
All the while you speak of nothing
God I don't know you!

You should know that
On the coldest night
in the most ugly conditions

Ill freeze on the streets
Ill die in the dark
Cause' its better than being your toy

I refuse to be abused
by the common friggen asshole
cause your just another prick

before I know it I'm at your house.
you disappear so I'm at home
I cant feel you. Your not here.

You kiss my neck and bite my ear.
Thats enough I'm done with your games
guess where I'm at when I'm gone?

Im wandering the mean streets
alone on these nasty nights
when the weather is perfectly terrible

But ill die smiling
Because dying in the streets
Is better than betraying myself with you

you will never touch me again
never fake love for pleasure
i wont let you use me any more.

And maybe someday some one
will break your heart, teach you pain
and then maybe you will regret tonight,

Or maybe you will just find a new puppet
a new game to play
But you wont play with my head anymore.

Author notes

Based on Typical by Tickle me pink

A contest entry

........please help me revise

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • forbidden-colour
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    I like how you used another poem as inspiration for this, several feelings came to me when reading the title. I love the coldest nights in bed with my partner.
    Thank you for entering


  • the wrong joke
    April 25

    Edit | Reply
    wow, great job, the only thing is freakin in line 17, the k makes it hard, try like, friggen or somethin, it'll b smoother, other than that tho, perfect. great job.


  • redbarchettadrive gold member
    April 11
    Edit | Reply
    This really says a lot about the writer's values! I am proud Max! Stay strong friend!