Tonight
beneath a Wattle tree,
I will go walk about
in dream time.
The ancients
whisper wisdom,
and I shall listen,
to learn
the secrets
of eternity.
A contest entry
- Someone, Somewhere by AJ Morelli.
7250 points, ended May 6, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
-
very spiritual piece, love the title
if i had one suggestion i would tighten it up a bit and change it to present tense... more zen quality that way i think
something along the lines of:
Tonight
beneath a Wattle tree,
I walk in dream.
The ancients whisper
wisdom and I listen
to learn the secrets
of eternity.
something like that, you get the idea
such a pretty entry here, i feel better for reading it
thanks
al
-
-
Hi, you might have a point there, but it would have to be dream time, for that is what the aborigines call it, and it would have to be "walk about" as this too is the phrase they use, oh dear no one seemed to understand what is was about, Di
-
-
you are completely correct, these colloquialisms are very important and helpful to the piece, definitely keep them... I do like the tense change though...
there is something kind of cleansing about this piece...
-
-
-
may the acacia tree and the universe bless you abundantly with their mysteries ...
much love,
marion
-
You make it seem so simple, yet I can tell you put thought in to this and all your pieces. Are dreams our true reality? I sometimes wonder. Good luck in the contest, and thank you again for sharing.
Write On!
jIM
-
SUPERB!!!!!!!!!!!!
-
share it if you find out something juicy...
well done.
-
Your writing never dissapoints... wonderful.. full of wisdom.
Jo
-
Extraordinary in simplicity
Scribe have a mysterious impact on the feature and the verses are still lingered on the minds of the readers
-
We can hear and learn so much when we are able to silence the external "noise" of our environment. Such learning indeed ... from dreams, from meditations, from listening to the call of our own human heart(s).
Despite the tendency for dreams to be cast off as childish things irrelevant to adult life, psychologists now state the importance of dreaming - well, it took them long enough!
-
Well done!
I always was a sucker for a vision quest poem.
Sparse and, erm, meaty.
-
Such yen and yang serenity whispers to the dreaming Author here! Makes me envious of the achievement. Rare are my own occasions when stress loses out and I too awake calmly.Nature provides just the right touch in describing this.
-
Deceptively simple and very effective. I love the spiritual flavour of this lovely write.
Best wishes,
Bill
-
There are secrets? I wish I knew those secrets.
Adding your comment:
1 - 14 of 14
